The Coup

Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire

Well, I lied. I was not able to keep up with the blogging. Honestly I did have the time on Sundays like I said but my brain was so fired from all the writing I had to do for school that the last thing I wanted to do was write about myself. But it's almost the new year and I'm starting early on my resolutions.

Since the last time...

Well, a lot has happened since my last post, and before that I didn't mention. So, I'll just give you a quick highlights reel of my first semester this year.

The Top 10 of this semester:

10. Getting Home from Waterton and paying my full tuition!

9. Getting my credit card (not that I'm wildly spending its just a milestone of adulthood)

8. Dances, and Dances (I've been dancing like crazy this semester with the busyness of ysa but its been a ton of fun.)

7. Discovering Glee/Glee Finale (we discovered it this year as I mentioned in earlier posts and every week we became more and more obsessed, resulting in our glee finale party at my house, which was was really just us but still awesome!)

6. Scoring a 71% on my grammar midterm (still waiting for the final mark), an A- in short fiction forms, B- in editing (which is higher than I thought), and that's all I have so far.

5. Jason Mraz concert (it was amazing and like a tween I was so nervous to see my idol but it was the best concert I've been to yet!)

4. Return of rockband (well it was only one night but we all played some rock band and though I'm sure it wouldn't be as often, it was super fun! Even though I sucked!)

3. Stagette/Bridal Shower: My good friend got married at the end of november, so we had some parties to send her off right. It was a real fun time and so exciting for her!

2. Preference: My friend and I went together and were brave enough to ask some boys out on date! I asked a good friend from school and we had a lot of fun.

1. Wedding: it was one of the coolest things to see two of my really good friends get married. It was wonderful to see them so happy and it was so much fun!

Some of the downer/stupidly dumb moments:

- shutting my finger in the car door. I don't even know how it happened but the next thing I know my hand is caught and I was screaming. My finger grew to the size of a Bratwurst sausage and was weirdly twisted but has since healed. It was definitely one of the more embarrassing of my many injuries so far.

- it was -40 for a week and half. We have gotten so luck this semester with the weather until the end of november/beginning of dec. It got so cold and the worst part was I kept thinking of my friend JT at school in Hawaii. He made it so much harder to accept the cold this year. In other news, I have set a goal to move to a warmer climate.

Coming Soon:

Well this next semester is really shaping up to be really awesome. I have some exciting classes this next semester, which I am really looking forward to. I also have some exciting events coming up this semester. First off I will be turning twenty which is a big milestone birthday and weirdly old for me. Don't shoot me, older readers it just seems very adult. And I definitely do not feel like an adult. In February I will be volunteering for a writing conference. One of my teachers is organizing it and a bunch of Canadian authors, and industry leaders are speaking and manning panels including one of my personal heroes Hart Hanson, creator and producer of Bones! That is pretty much the reason I joined!

Also in February I will be flying to California to visit my Aunt Jenny and Uncle Ken in Fresno. Hopeful we will be able to work everything out and go visit San Fransico! I'm so excited, because even if its cold there it will still be warmer than Edmonton! I cannot wait for reading week!

Then in March my friends from school and I will be heading to the Muse concert! It will be epic to say the least, and I'm more excited than I thought I could be.

Final Note:

I can't guarantee that I will keep up with this because the evidence against me is overwhelming but I'll try and give it a shot. It's fun to share what's going on in my life with everyone who reads this and get psyched up for what's coming next. Till next time then!

The Return

Trying To Be More Than A Flash In A Pan

Well, readers I'm going to try and give this blog thing more of a concentrated effort. Life is really busy but people (namely my mother) seem to miss what I have to say, and truth be told, I miss writing it sometimes. So I will be trying a little harder from now on, my plan is to try and update it on Sundays when I can't work on school stuff.

So as I said life has been pretty busy but in a good way. For some reason I thought that putting almost all of my classes on thursday, and friday was a good thing last year but it is not. It's nice in the days leading up to it, but I find myself dreading those days now. It makes the weekends so much busier but I have all these assignments and I'm usually not home Friday and Saturday night. This past week was crazy like that and pretty much the next month will be insane with the projects I have to do, my fingers are going to be sore from typing!

School, School

As I said school is getting really busy but I'm really enjoying it this year. I have five class this year, short fiction forms, applied editing, advanced composition, professional prose, and screenwriting one. Short fiction forms is probably my favorite class, despite being taught by one of my least favorite teachers. We get to study short stories and then work on writing our own. It's a lot of reading and writing but I think I'm starting to come with some really good stories and I've been really enjoying most of the short stories we get to read. The stories in my last post were from that class, but some of the stuff I'm working on now is a little more different so I'm not sure yet if I'm confident enough to post them here. It's one thing to have a relative stranger read your stuff as opposed to people who know you.

Advanced Composition is my toughest class probably yet. It's an insane grammar class, we are literally mapping out sentences. I'm really trying hard to stay on top in class, and read the chapters so that I have at least heard of the concepts we discuss. Then I found out I was reading the chapters in the wrong order, so after the midterm on thursday I'm totally ahead on my reading! Wish me luck on that test, I'm looking for a pass!

Applied Editing is by far the most work. My teacher is very ocd, and because the class has no final she seems to think we have to be completely over run with homework. In addition to the chapter readings, she gives us weekly assignments that routinely take two hours to do, and there is an essay or project due every three weeks. It's tough, I could probably spend most of my time just working on the homework from that class. I do like some of it though, because in this class we look at more of the theory of editing as opposed to the technical aspects that we looked at last year. Plus the textbook is really awesome if you like writing and want to improve your writing, its called Spunk and Bite by Arthur Plotnik, and it's definitely got spunk!

The biggest disappointment so far has been my screenwriting class. I really was looking forward to it and it has turned out to be really boring. It's really basic screenwriting stuff (easier than the stuff I did in high school film class), and we don't apply to it many movies. Each class begins with a 30-45 min presentation from a group on the assigned reading and then the teacher just lectures on what they talk about. The presentations are defintely the highlight, the lectures are the worst. at MacEwan the teachers let you go 10-5 mins early so that if you need to catch a bus you can make it. This teacher is new to the school and has decided that the because the website says we are in class until five he will keep us till then. It sucks, especially when he just repeats himself for 2 hours.

I've Got A Social Life

Besides school I'm trying to iron out some sort of social life, since I've gotten back there has been dance, after dance, after dance. Don't get me wrong, i don't necessarily mind dances but they are not exactly my cup of tea. You can't really get to know people at them, and even if you meet new people its dark and loud so you're never a hundred percent sure if thats the person you met if you see them at church. It's been fun though because I've got a really good group of friends so we all go together and have a great time.

This weekend was Halloween and we spent it at the dance on Friday, and then on Saturday we went to a family friend's party. I resurrected the gangsta costume, so I was dragging my drawers, and wearing some bling! I love that costume, but this is the last year that I will be ballin! I'm too old for that now I guess, plus I don't think its going to earn me anymore dates, unless they are pity dates.

Well, I think this is a good enough start. I'll try and remember intersecting things that happen in my life to share now that I'm home in E-town. It's weird I've been home two months now, but it still feels like I just got home. The good thing is, Waterton is already under snow so I'm not really missing anything!!

I've Full of Glee!

Well, its finally happened. Show tunes have wrangled their way into my heart, well not really. My friends and I have started watching this new show Glee about a high school Glee club and the music is awesome. I love it, I listen to it all the time, especially when I'm running. My favorite songs are Somebody To Love, and It's My Life/Confessions Mash Up, closely followed by my newest guilty pleasure, the glee version of the Thong Song! Ah, I always knew that song would come back in style!

P.S. My browser is American so it has changed all the spelling to american, so I'm not anti-Canadian, just forced by technology. It's taking over.

Now What?

Home

Well I am happily at home now, after my summer away. I've been informed that I need to continue to update this blog to pacify the people who read it, namely my mother. So, here it is. I have been very busy since I got back. I forgot how busy life is, with school and ysa activities. School is going great so far, I paid off my entire tuition for the year so yeah! And as of yesterday I am officially back at superstore, so drop by and visit because it is still exactly the same. Anyway I don't have much time for detailed description of my life right now, as I'm too busy writing other things. So I thought instead of boring you with my non-fiction, I could maybe entice you with some of my fiction. This is two short stories I had to write for class, and I'm looking for feedback so don't be shy. Spoiler warning, one of them is fairly black humour (as in death and stuff) so if that bugs you just skip over it.

The first piece is inspired by a current events issue that I'm sure will be made clear as soon as you start reading it.

Kanye West – The Housefly

Once upon a time there was a housefly named Kanye. Kanye believed he was a different kind of housefly, born with extra long wings that allowed him to fly higher than all the other flies. Like the other house flies on his block, Kanye flew with ease in his backyard, happily fed and shelter while, other flies struggled in outhouses and farmhouse for a meagre piece of dung, Kanye didn’t have to hunt for his dung he was happily fed everyday by a terrier name Charger. No other flies ate Charger’s dung, due largely to the pesticide dutifully sprayed by Charger’s owner which Kanye just happened to be immune to. So Kanye grew fat, and convinced of his own glory. Everyday he’d fly down to the steaming, fresh, pile of crap dutifully left for him by Charger convinced that no other fly flew as well as him

Now the other housefly’s recognized Kanye’s talent. Some when they first saw his would buzz that there had really been no other fly like him that zoomed and buzzed quite so effortless, so loudly, so poetically. Some said he was one of a kind and every night when the houseflies had their buzz wars, over the Miller’s barbeque they watched Kanye beat housefly after housefly down with his wicked buzz’s and wuzz’s. But not all flies liked him, especially the horseflies. The horseflies were the real deal. Bred in the country, in mile high piles of dung they were forced from the moment of their birth to build the hardest exoskeletons to dodge the horse’s violent tails that waved back and forth in an attempt to eradicate them. The violence that had surrounded them from birth hardened them, and they were notoriously fickle. Alliances were made and broken everyday over the biggest pile of dung. The hardest horseflies didn’t even blink their many eyes when their comrades were crushed beneath the weight of a horse tail. Instead they buzzed louder and more convinced of their superiority they flew right into other flies territory for the best dung. This started the great horse fly wars which lead to the loss of many flies. The horse flies answered to no one and respected no one, especially houseflies.

Kanye knew he was the best, because everyone had told him so. And if everyone tells you then it must be true right? He never questioned himself or his flying ability; he was convinced just like a child who believes Santa is on his way. The horseflies watched Kanye with a righteous anger. Who was this wussy housefly from the suburbs? Why did he fly so well? Their rage grew as they watched him circle and twist buzzing along through the air using the moves they had developed out of survival for his own pleasure. He was disrespecting them! But that was not Kanye’s worst crime, his worst crime in the horseflies mind was his attitude. This fly, thought that he was fly he didn’t need to hunt for dung. His so called fans brought him it! He got the best dung, buffalo dung (the Cristal of the fly world) handed to him on the backs of flies that had risked life and limb just to get it, in the vain hope that he would teach them his signature moves. Their fury could not be contained; the horseflies had to do something.

They sent a suck up suburban fly to fetch Kanye, with a message of congratulations. Of course, like all house flies Kanye secretly carved the approval of the horse flies so he returned with the messenger to greet them in person. The head horse fly, 50 cent (so named for his survival against some little boys and a roll of quarters) buzzed his greeting to Kanye. Kanye, eager to impress, buzzed back with as much vigour and enthusiasm as he could muster, and the two flies began a buzz war. Gyrating back and forth, shaking their wings, they buzzed each other. One would buzz a tune, and the other would try and out do him. The fight grew fierce, until 50 cent buzzed so loudly, and wuzzed so fast, that Kanye had to concede. Humbled (but still secretly proud of himself) Kanye bowed to the horse flies. Out of appreciation for his talent the horse flies led Kanye to their special place, on the back porch of the farmer’s house. There just hanging underneath the awning was a light more beautiful, more heavenly than Kanye had ever seen. He watched it in wonder, as he buzzed around each time getting closer and closer to the light. The horse flies explained that the light was their hood, their special place that they had earned when they had survived attacks from the horses, fly swatters, and children. They buzzed Kanye in, encouraging him closer and closer. Kanye could not resist; all 80 of his eyes were wide in delight. It was so beautiful, so bright, and wondrous, and the closer he got he could see a little bar for him to rest on and bask in the beauty of the light, and his own power. He was the best, the absolute best.

The other houseflies circled with him, and then they saw his eyes widen in delight, and his wings buzz happily, and faster they backed away to the top of awning. There they sat and watched as Kanye circled closer and closer, until they were finally convinced that the light had him in its spell and then they turned away, until the heard Kanye’s final buzz as he hit the light and fell to the porch beneath. They didn’t even look down to check; because they were absolutely convinced he was gone. 50, tired after a long day took one look around at his gang, shook his head, and said “that was easier than T-Pac,” before he curled up and went to sleep.

Like all great flies Kanye’s popularity only increased after his death. Little suburban houseflies copied his moves and mourned his death like the death of their brother. Of course, no one blamed the horse flies because well, no one could prove it. The horseflies’ recognized the inevitability of Kanye’s post humongous fame, cashed in and began giving classes on Kanye’s moves. 50, though arrogant, was really pragmatic enough to realize that you couldn’t beat the life out of Kanye, but you could keep order and proper respect through a steady environment of intimidation and fear. The horse flies ruled the roost, convinced of their cred, and strength. The house flies watched from their porches, hoping in vain that someday they would be as tough and as buzz worthy as the horse flies. And in the space of twenty four hours, that generation died and another sprang up; ready to buzz and wuzz like no other before, because a little suburban housefly Kanye had buzzed and wuzzed just like the horseflies.

And this last piece is my favourite, it might become more, but I think its off to a good start. Let me know!

Reason #101 To Get An Education

Name of current employer. That one little unholy line will be the death of my future career. I can’t fill it out, I just can’t. No employer in his right mind would hire me; they’d probably hire a seasoned drug lord over me. My job is just too weird, too uncomfortable for the general public. I’m doomed; I’m absolutely doomed to spend the rest of my life as a chauffeur for the dead.

Now of course that’s not my official title, officially I am an employee of the Minister of Justice, who specializes in the transportation of delicate materials, which have already been dispatched. How did I even come here? Well, despite popular belief the ME’s office, (medical examiners for the layman) actually advertises openings in their fleet. I was simply looking for trucking work when I spotted an ad for driving in the city, good wage, handling delicate materials, and a number to call. Government advertisements shouldn't be that sketchy. And now, here I am in the middle of a September heat wave, picking up yet another decomposed body. Yeah, that’s exactly what future employers are looking for.

I don’t hate my job, I don’t like it, and occasionally I don’t mind it. It’s actually really easy, the ME’s office is really looking for a license and a pair of hands that can put on some surgery gloves and bag all the pieces. Occasionally my job can even be pretty sweet. I don’t have standard office hours, just a van and a cell phone, and when I get a call I drive out to pick up the body. The office even paid for a sweet suit for me, so that I looked less like an under qualified college drop-out and more like a sober, professional employee of the state. The worst part of my job is the questions. Every time I show up at the scene there is always some rookie cop or should have been retired ten years ago cop, watching the scene, like it’s their job to make sure that nothing goes wrong. They’re always bored out of their mind, and somehow think chatting up the “chauffeur” as they like to call us will pass the time. One rookie cop, Jim seems to be at every call I’ve gotten in the past two weeks. Every time he saunters up to me, thumbs hooked in his belt like he’s Clint Eastwood, shaking his head and chewing on a wad of gum. “I’ve never seen one this bad, yep, this is a doozy.” Every single body is a “doozy” to Jim, even the old guy who died in his sleep and looked like he was going to wake up at any second. He compared that body to the body that was found in the tub after being in there for two weeks. Somehow to me, a body that had basically disintegrated, and a still intact, hardly looks like he is dead guy, don’t really compare, but that’s just me.

The worst part of my job is the gradual loss of any empathy that you feel. I can walk into a suicide scene with blood and guts all over the wall and feel nothing. Somehow that doesn’t seem quite right in my mind, but I guess it goes with the territory. I’m not nearly as bad as some of the guys. Roger, has been with the ME’s office for twenty years, and he loves the job. If there was ever a guy who believed it was his destiny to pick up dead bodies, it’s Roger. He has routinely gets tickets of over a $100, because he cannot be late to the scene. I think it’s his secret dream to someday find a body all on his own. He’s got these buggy eyes, and Dwight Shrute glasses that scan the scene like a warrior surveying the battlefield. He loves the messy cases, (which is just fine with me) and he’ll stay forever just to make sure he’s got every last piece. He’s completely death obsessed, and the few times I tried to chat with him, all he would talk about was the newest burial method he was most interested in. So, obviously, I don’t spend any time with the guys I work with off hours.

It’s not like job is going to be the highlight of my career just a means to an end, until something better comes along. I mean, a mini-van is not exactly a hot-rod to the ladies. Especially if the take a look in the backseat. And the smell is just so unholy. Especially this week with the heat wave, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to cover it up. Believe me, I’ve tried. I once spent an hour in a grocery store checking every single air freshner for maximum strength, and nothing worked. The worst part was when I came out I saw this lady pushing her kid in a stroller glance in my back window and then literally run away when she saw the bag. After that I requested the van with the tinted windows. After all, I’m a single man; I can’t have people thinking I’m some serial killer or something, that wouldn’t do my dating life any good.

So here I am in another employment agency office, scanning every single ad that even mentions driving, because seriously, can there be a job lower on the totem pole than me? Maybe a pizza hut delivery guy, but that’s about it. But the problem is, I just can’t write down the name of my current employer, because than everywhere I go, I’ll be the guy who picked up dead guys. I’m branded for life! Maybe that’s how Roger got stuck at the ME’s office. I’ve got to find another job. I should’ve gone to school.

So let me know what you think people because this kind of stuff is all I'm really working on besides essays and stuff!

Suit Up Thy Man Suit!

Well, well its Finally September 1st!!!

That means I go home in 6 days, I cannot wait. I am so excited to get home to my old life and I'm excited to be out of Waterton. Don't get me wrong I have enjoyed this summer immensely but my time here is done. Especially now that all the freaky, weird, hybrid, mutant bugs seem to be coming out. Seriously, I have never in my life seen bugs like this. They have massive antennas, and then a body like a horse fly with the head of a dragonfly, and they are huge and everywhere. I tried to tan by the beach the other day and gave up because all of the flies!!

The Last Hurrah

So, though this summer has been incredible I felt that I haven't got to spend enough time playing. So we decided to take a couple of days off and head off on a little road trip. We left early, early Wednesday morning and drove through the Crows Nest Pass. I've never driven that way before so it was a wonderful drive. It's so beautiful. One of the coolest things we saw was the Frank Slide. The highway literally carves through a graveyard of massive boulders. It was insane and the weirdest thing was that the whole town that was demolished by that rock slide is still underneath it. It was very cool.

Then we entered B.C. which was very cool for me because I haven't been to B.C. except hiking two km into it. We drove through Sparwood, home of the world's largest truck!, on our way to our destination Fort Steele. Well, Fort Steele is basically like Fort Edmonton park. Its an old town that has been restored as a tourist attraction. We had planned to spend the whole day there but there really wasn't much to do and we left after an hour and a half. We did get some good pictures, even though we weren't supposed to take them! I'll upload a couple when I get home and my internet will allow me.

Our journey continued through B.C. to the border. We passed through some cool places, like Cranbrook, Fernie and my personal favourite Yahk! Yahk is basically three little shops alongside the highway but its really cool. There is a little soap shop where they have built a small ramp up to the roof which has sod planted on it, and their goats, and baby goats head up there and chill. Totally hiliarous. Yahk also had the best ice cream I have had this summer and considering where I am live, thats saying something!

We made it across the border and continued our journey through Idaho. We travelled on the I-95 which is one of the weirdest highways I have ever been on. Its two lanes the whole way and it cuts through residental areas in three towns. We drove across this massive 1 km long bridge over a lake that was huge. Finally we made it to our destination for the night, Bayview, Idaho where we had booked a campground. Our campground was beautiful and Bayview was a cool little town. It was on the edge of that huge lake I mentioned so there was a huge marina that we walked down to. We set up camp and then headed into Couer d'Alene for dinner. While we there we saw G.I. Joe, and you know what, its not even worth a comment. That tells you just how bad it was.

Well, what was the point of this whole trip? Silverwood theme park, in Athol, Idaho which is basically Couer d'Alene. Somehow this was my idea. Anyway Silverwood was intense and a lot of fun. I personally hate rides (then why did I suggest it?) but I still had a lot of fun. We started the day off with the roller coasters which were jittery and unpleasant for me, but still somehow fun. The worst one is called Tremors. Its an old wood coaster that is literally designed to make you feel like you are going to fall off. It goes at least 65 mph, if not more, through tunnels! Its really freaky because no matter how tight you do your seat belt (and trust me, my seat belt was tight!) you still lifted off your seat, especially when you were heading down into the tunnels. It felt like you were going to smack your head every time, so in the roller coaster photo I was leaning forward! Anyway I made it through that one, and for some reason we went on it again at the end of the day and sat at the back. Normally the back is safe, but not on this ride. The back is ten times more rough and our car literally lifted off the tracks. I'm not even joking it was literally off the tracks!!

Anyway I passed one important test, sitting in the very front of a roller coaster which I have never done before. Now it was the easiest coaster we did, but it was also the first one and I survived. I was fairly proud of myself, which kinda shows you just how much of a wimp I am. After the coasters we headed to the log ride (which I normally love) but this one was lame and totally not underrated, so that was disappointing. However their white water raft ride is amazing, I got more wet on that ride then I did on the one at California adventure!!

We played two arcade games and the first one, we won buckets of ammo for this other game/ride. It was so sweet. They had these little boats that you could ride in like a submarine and shot water and balls at your opponents. We traded in our buckets of ammo for the boat ride and had a total blast spraying each other through the cracks in the front. It was awesome, and I got totally soaked. When the balls hit the boats it was so loud because of the covers. My gun stopped working halfway through and by then my competitive side had come out, so I was screaming and hitting my gun trying to get it to work so I could defend myself. Sadly, it never worked.

After the boat ride and when we were good and wet we decided to head over to the Water park. Yes, Silverwood has a waterpark too!! I loved the waterpark, the slides were fun, nowhere near West Edmonton Mall standards but still fun, and it was nice to chill out in the sun. We had a great time!!

Well there was only one ride I wimped out on. Its a roller coaster called Aftershock. Look it up online, it is seriously insane. Everyone else went on it, but I was too afraid. For good reason. The aftershock has two huge poles that go up at least 150 feet into the air. The car rides up the poles, like the drop of doom at West End, and then drops and speeds, essentially upside down the whole way through a series of twists and turns before it goes back up the second pole and drops you again. Finally you go up one more time, and then head home. There is no way I was doing that. Seriously, look it up and you will see what I mean. I already have my sign that roller coasters are not for me, (three times strapped into the Mindbender at West Ed, and never ridden it, thanks to mechanical problems, and many many prayers!!) so despite my companions protests, I'm still not feeling the sting of regret!!

We ended our day and began our drive home. This trip was a lot of fun and a totally awesome way to end the summer. Now I'm just twiddling my thumbs until I head home and get to party with all my friends!! I'm very excited to head home and start school and my old life again. I've really enjoyed my summer here and I think I've accomplished a lot. Now I've got to make it just a couple more days!!

Guilty Pleasure
Ok, road trips are always about turning the music up loud. Now my companions and I have widely different tastes in music but we still managed to have a good time for the twelve hours we spent driving. I've discovered things though that disturb me. My guiltiest taste of music. Oh gosh, I am a sucker for Lady Gaga, why?! I have no idea how this happened but my the third time we listened to lovegame (and the first time I asked for it) I quit fighting it and just sang along to the disco stick song. It hurts my brain and heart but my toes cannot stop tapping. I think I lost a little respect for myself on this trip. Don't worry though, I'll still keep trying to fight it, because I just won't be maddy without my pretentious music.

In which, We Rescued a Pig

Country Living

Before I get started telling you about the latest excitement in my life, I have to say that I am really sick of this program. For some reason the font changes every time, though I always pick the same font. Its very frustrating for someone as pretentious about the font they use, as I am. Ugh!

Anyway so not too much new to report, I'm still working all the time and keeping busy. I can't wait to get home. I'm getting really tired of Waterton in case you have noticed, but I'm having fun distracting myself until its time to go home.

So, as you know JT's cabin has already been a place for many grand adventures for me. I almost broke my neck there last time on a zip line. This time, was a little more interesting. I mentioned in my last post that the Pillings had just gotten a pig that would soon be heading to the slaughterhouse. Sunday we went to the cabin to hang out, and the pig was still alive. They named her Wilbur, and JT loves this pig more than his dog or any other animal. She is a totally cute pig. She is extremely loyal and follows us when we drive out on the quads to chase the buffalo. So she was following us when we went into the pasture to see the horses. The Pillings have very nice, beautiful, and usually gentle horses. Before they saw the pig they came right up to us so we could pet them, but then they saw the pig. Those horses went insane. They started stampeding the pig and trying to bite it. Their lips were curled back and everything. JT took off running after them (and keeping up) punching the horses in the face when they got close to the pig. He started screaming at Zoe and Me to start the quad and head them off. Unfortunately we had to the pull the choke chain to get the quad started so we were unable to get it started. So he ran back, shoved me off and started heading the horses off. The horses would not stop, we were yelling and screaming at them and they would not stop attacking the pig. Finally JT threw his body over the pig and starting screaming at his little sister and Zoe to hit the horses. I wasn't near the horses and I really was not about to start throwing punches at those animals. But Zoe and Camis were braver than me and they punched those horses in the face and kicked them until they left the pig alone.

Pig Rescue

So after the horse stopped stampeding to kill the pig we knew we had to get Wilbur out of there fast. We got the other quad and literally lifted the pig up onto it so JT could hold it and we could get out there as fast we could, because the horses were still eyeing us. We made it up over the hill before the pig fell off the quad and so we tried to lead it down the hill. That didn't work out so well and the pig started running back toward the horses so Zoe threw herself on the pig. Eventually I lifted the pig back onto the quad and we made it safely out of the pasture. That poor pig was so tired, it was foaming at the mouth. But everything worked out and Wilbur lived another day.

Buffalo Chasing
Chasing the buffalo is probably the most fun thing to do at the cabin, whether we are in the jeep, the suburban or on the quads. This time we were chasing them on the quad. I was on a quad with JT's littlest sister Camis driving and his other sister Mariah behind me. We've had a lot of rain here the past two weeks so everything was really muddy and gross. Chunks of mud were flying everywhere and then Camis hit some fresh buffalo dung. I moved my head just in time but Mariah did not and she was sprayed completely in the face. She washed herself off (and missed the whole pig vs. horse match) but when we were sitting down to dinner, Zoe looks at her and discovers that her whole ear is full of buffalo poop. So gross!

Pond Living

We ended the day at the pond after everyone had gone on the zip line (except me, I'm still a little leery). We were again trying to catch/terrorize the ducks and geese. I was standing at the end of the dock and all the kids were behind me because we were all trying to catch the ducks and geese. When like a complete domino effect, JT's dad and Zoe's Dad push us. It all happened in slow motion. We all slowly moved to the water, and I was so shocked. My last thought before I hit the water was, "we're not actually going to go in the water." I hit the water spread eagle and took everyone down with me. When I surfaced my first thought was of the fish, and then I realized my glasses were on my face so I tried frantically grabbing them. Unfortunately I grabbed the back of Zoe's hoodie and she freaked out because she thought I was trying to drown her, so I immediately let go and then actually located my real glasses. We all made it back onto the deck and the adults were laughing hysterically. Apparently I had the most shocked look on my face, which I don't doubt because I honestly believed we weren't actually going in the water.

So that was this weeks adventure at the cabin. At least I didn't get hurt or hurt anyone else, this time.

My Middle Name Should Be Evil Kneivel

I'm Getting Tired of Hearing, You Almost Died



So, my crazy adventures seem to continue. You know I kind of bring it on myself, I told myself when I came out here that I had to be brave and try new things, and somehow that translates into pain. Spoiler warning, this one was nowhere near as bad as my knee, so don't get too excited. Anyway since my last post I've been pretty busy which is good because I am completely ready to head home. I can't believe I'm saying this but I am starting to get sick of Waterton. Anyway I've been pretty busy, I had my last round of visitors come up and spend the weekend with me last week, Cindy and Wally. The best part was that they brought my best buddy Jonathan so we got to chill the whole weekend. They came Friday night and stayed at my place, which turned out to be fuller than expected (more on that later). The next day I had to work until three but we went to Red Rock and hiked up Blackstine Falls and then followed Cindy on some random horse trail that was three inches wide and covered in horse poop for another km. It was fun though. We saw some crazy things, like a bride and groom climbing down red rock in full bridal gear for pictures and my first bear this summer! Good times. The next day we had brunch and then headed to Cameron Lake. I haven't been there before so it was really fun. You take this amazingly windy mountain road up to the lake which is in between mountains. Jonathan and I swam for a bit and then tanned. They had canoe, and paddle boat rentals, so we rented a four person paddle boat, paddled out into the middle of the lake and proceeded to drift for the rest of the hour we had rented it for. It was really nice, relaxing, and I even got a tan. We had dinner that night and then the next morning they were gone!



So I guilt tripped my parents into loving me...hehe

All of my friends down here have received care packages from their families and friends except for me, so I goaded Cindy into guilt tripping my mother to send me a care package. It was awesome, I told everyone at work about it because it was so exciting. I got mints, and gum, and even a water gun! I loved it, the card is on display in my room!



The rest of my week was a blur...

After Cindy, Wally, and Jonathan left I headed to work at the Chocolate shop and then worked there almost every evening after work. It was a pretty long week so by Thursday I wanted to do something fun. I just ended up going with JT to his house for dinner but it was still really fun. One of my friends here parents came from Ontario so they stayed at my place because I had room so my house was a little full because I also got a new roommate! She is from Peru, is Mormon, and has only been in Canada two months. She arrived on the Friday that Cindy and Wally came so the house has been a little crowded but everyone is gone now so everything is back to normal. Its fun to have a roommate again but I kind of wish now that I had taken Spanish because we hit a bit of a language barrier every once in awhile.



Danger, Danger



So, country kids have completely different ideas of how to have fun, mainly because they are limited by the country. One of the housekeepers is really good friends with JT and it was her birthday on Friday so we decided to take her out. We drove into Lethbridge for dinner and then drove back to JT's cabin to get his family's boat for his uncle. Of course by the time we had done all the driving it was pretty much midnight, It was a lot of fun though, that's probably my favourite activity to do with my friends, listen to loud music and drive. I was kidnapped that night and spent the night at JT's uncle's place where he and his cousins live while working here. The next day we slept till noon because of his really loud french African neighbours keeping us up all night and then drove back into town. JT had to work so I chilled at home and then we had made plans to go the rodeo but it was pretty much over by the time we got to Cardston. So we hit up a gas station and then played cards till 12, when I was kidnapped again. The next morning we narrowly made it to church on time.



Here is where the danger comes in. After church we decided to head to JT's parents cabin instead of our original plan to hike Red Rock because it was really windy. We got there and found his sisters playing with the new family pig, which should only be living another couple of days. So we hopped the fence and chased the pig. Pigs feel so weird, they are all scratchy and have this really rough, white fur. It was kinda freaky, but fun. Then the girls wanted to show us how to catch a goose so we headed to the pond where the goose and ducks where and I watched them catch a goose. It was a very intricate process, they used feed to lure the geese under the dock and when they came out they caught them with the nets. JT was very determined to catch one so he laid flat on his belly with his net at the ready. Unfortunately the Pillings have highly aggressive trout in their pond that literally attack the ducks and when they saw JT's face just above the water, one of them bit him on the face. Hilarious. Anyway they finally caught a goose after throwing the dog at one, and we brought it up onto dry land. Geese are so incredibly soft, obviously but its really freaky how they can turn their heads. Really. Anyway we set the goose free and moved onto our next adventure.



I mentioned a couple posts ago that last time I was at the cabin I got to see the Pilling clan trying to set up their zip line, while it is all done now, so I had to try it. After JT's cousin went first I nervously got strapped in and ready to go. Once I started going it was actually really nice except for some of the trees, you bash over. You cross down a hill and then over two ponds, and the stop is at the end of the second pond where you start picking up speed. When I got to the second pond i braced my neck because it can be a little rough when you hit the brake. It's a good thing I did, because the pulley they had for the break rope broke and I tested out the emergency brake. All I remember is being flung up in the air like crazy and seeing the ground beneath me, before I righted. JT thought he had killed me, and came running over. My whole body was shaking and I couldn't breathe, all the air was gone out of my lungs. I had to stand on a crate while JT unhooked me but I was shaking so bad. JT was totally freaked and then I got off the crate and saw that I was bleeding, he thought I had severed an artery. I was so freaked out because I hate blood I dunked my hand into the water because I was already weak enough. I was fine though, just shaken up. I cut my hand a tiny little bit because the clip opened when I swung up like a rag doll. My life was saved by two tires and JTs German engineering. In a couple of minutes I was just fine, but I am definitely feeling the effects of it today, let me tell you. My whole body aches, especially my shoulder and ribs where the harness cut in.



After that we just chilled and talked with his sisters until it was time to leave, or so I thought. Halfway up the hill we decided to go check out the old settlers cabin at the bottom of the hill. Originally we were going to check it out at night, on Friday in the dark but we wimped out because we were all tired. This time we hiked down in broad daylight and found the remains of a fresh deer kill from a bear. Good thing we didn't go at night! We hiked through grass and thistles up to our hips until we got to the cabin. It was really cool. It was all old and it looked like it had burnt in a fire. We found the well that they had dug and built with stones and the old metal stove still intact. There was even a child's toy truck inside the house. It was really cool to stand in a place where no one had been in years. But we all agreed that it was better that we went in the day!



So that's been the excitement going on here in waterton, today I am being lazy after my ordeal yesterday. I'm still a city kid and acting like a country kid takes its toll on me! Minor note, I was only lazy until JT showed up just as I was finishing this post and took me on the Bertha falls hike. It was very fun, and the best part was when we finished I ran into my great grandparents and aunt and uncle who are in town so I got to celebrate my grandfather's 87th birthday with them!



Cruising Music

Like I said my favourite thing to do with my friends is too just drive with the music up loud. So far, all of my favourite memories have been from doing just that. So what makes a good cruising song? According to JT, none of my music and for once I sort of agree with him. The only time you will find me dancing to Rhianna or Lady Gaga, is in a car with my friends. However there is one option that is much better than those two: Pink. I happily admit that Pink is my guilty pleasure and on my ipod. Best song, Funhouse, its got an amazing guitar hook, and its Pink so its awesome. She seriously does not get the credit she deserves.

I've Been Busy. Hence The Wait.

Ahh my few followers, its been awhile

So, the blog has not been updated in a little while. I think that for the few for read this to assume that when its not updated, I'm just too busy. Its been a crazy past couple of weeks. So, when I last left you I had just gone to Cardston and gotten the disappointing news that my stitches had to stay in. Well, on that note the stitches are now out, (have been for two weeks) and my beautiful, completely attractive scar is beginning to form. My knee is healing up pretty good, I almost walk like a sane person (at the beginning of the day before I've moved around too much on it), and I can bend a full 90 degrees (though not for long, and without any pressure on it). So yeah!!

Visitors have come and gone

My family came down the week before last and stayed at the campground for a week. It was a lot of fun, though it rained for the first two days. That's the only sucky thing about being here in Waterton, we are so high up, anytime we get rain, its big rain. Anyway the first night my family abandoned their camp and stayed at my aunts, and the second night I sat and froze my butt off while my mom cooked outside on the camp stove (with only one working burner) instead of in my nice warm apartment. It was fun though. The next couple of days I got to see my family before work and they took me in to get the last of my stitches out in Cardston. Friday and Sat were the fun days because we had our family reunion. Everyone came down to Waterton and stayed over. We hiked Blackstone Falls on Friday night. That was my first hike since my accident. Its only about 2 km, but my knee was killing me when I was done, but it made me stronger! Then we took over a camp kitchen and had an awesome meal and some family time. It was really nice and a lot of fun. Saturday I got to go with my littlest cousins "treasure hunting." There is a little beach and cove on the lake here in Waterton that brings up old pieces of bottles. They are completely smooth from the erosion and rubbing against the rocks so we went up and down the peach picking up their treasure. It was a lot of fun, the girls love it and it was fun to see little kids get so excited about old pieces of bottles! Unfortunately I had to work Sat, afternoon so I didn't get to go to Cameron Lake with everyone. Sunday my family left and I had my first day back at the chocolate shop. I was only there for about two hours but it felt really great to get back there.

Bertha Falls

Hiking in Red Rock got me excited to go hiking and stuff again so mon, my friend and I decided to hike Bertha Falls. It was really nice, Bertha Falls is only about 4 km, and you hike alongside the mountain and gradually gain altitude before you drop again as you get to the falls. The Falls are not as big as Cameron Falls, but its really cool because you stand on this little bridge and you are literally 15ft away from the falls. The water just cuts right out of the mountain. Its really cool. We had a really nice time hiking there and we even made good time considering my gimpness. My knee was pretty sore after but it was a good sore of accomplishing something!! Since then I have just been working and working on my knee. I'm trying to test out how far I can go on it, without wrecking it. I take a walk everyday and I've started swimming lanes so I can get some exercise until I can go running again, but its finally starting to heal up!

Dinner and A Movie

Well, since I'm trying to save my money my culinary experiences have really been limited to myself. So whenever I get the chance to eat out, its great. My friend and I decided that we deserved a night out so we had dinner at the company restaurant where we get a discount. It was great and the best part is I was one of the employees of the week last week so I get a free dinner there whenever I'd like! But I have to say one of my most favourite things was going to a movie on Friday. I went and saw the Proposal which was awesome. I wasn't going to go, because I couldn't get anyone to go with me because they were all working but I finally went by myself in the end, and it was great. I loved it, there was no one talking during the movie, or bugging me, I just got to enjoy it! It kind of scares me how much I liked it.

And that's a wrap

So, that's been my life the past couple of weeks. I'm officially back at the chocolate shop, I worked all weekend so I can start making some extra money.

As always,

So I did manage to catch like the last half hour of So You Think You Can Dance this week for some strange reason. I've watched in the past, but not this year. I have to say I'm not overly impressed with the dancers but I managed to find a great new tune. Its totally not what I listen to at all, but its just so groovy. Its called Move by CSS, and its so fun! I'm such a dork but if I the anti-dancer start tapping my foot to a song, you know its a good dance song!!

P.S. The title is an homage to The Proposal, seriously good movie. My favourite lines: "I can't swim. Hence the boat." "There I was standing there, wifeless (said with such disdain, love Ryan Reynolds)" and my most favourite line "People are too lazy too read, they need someone to tell them, don't watch reality t.v. pick up a book and that person is Oprah."

Good News Will Work It's Way Into My Hands

19 stitches is now down to 7, and suture's

So, yesterday I went in to get my stitches out at the Cardston Hospital. But the story really starts in Waterton the night before. My friend JT was going to drive me into the hospital the next morning but decided it that it was too far from Waterton, so I had to go and spend the night at his uncles place with his cousins. (that's where he lives in the summer). We grabbed some pizza at the pizza of waterton (more on that later) and hit the road. The owner of the hotels I work for is his uncle and his house is insanely big and beautiful. Anyway we got there, did some dishes because the kids had been by themselves for a couple of days and then watched the Bourne Supremacy. 1 am I finally went to sleep on the couch. The next morning we all got up around 10 and I went to have a shower. Now, as I said this place is massive and the shower is half the size of my bedroom at home, no word of a lie. It was crazy, but unfortunately I'm too much of an idiot to figure it out so I had a glacier water cold shower. It was the start of a beautiful day. Anyway we finally made it to Cardston where it took 20 mins to find the hospital, in a tiny town. Why? We got there and the admitting nurse directed me to the clinic, 2 blocks away from the hospital. At that point it was just frustrating. At the clinic a nurse started taking my stitches out when she noticed that my knee had not completely healed, so I had to see a doctor for a final decision. The end jist: the rest of my stitches were not removed and they taped up my leg so I have to go in next week. It's so stupidly frustrating, I want them out so I can start doing normal stuff again, and enjoying living in such a beautiful place. Ugh!

Pizza of Waterton
As I am trying to save money here, my culinary experiences have been limited to my own cooking. I haven't tried any of the restaurants in town and the last time I ate out was mcdonald's three weeks after I got here, when we went for groceries. So I was pretty excited when we went to the Pizza of Waterton. It was pretty good pizza, I will admit. I went with JT and his cousin, and we were just sitting there chilling, and waiting for our food when they both go "oh crap, is that?" and then take off. I'm not kidding his cousin literally ran for the bathroom and JT ran out the door. Now, the pizza of waterton is a super small restaurant, so the entire restaurant was staring at me. There I was sitting there, looking like my friends just dined and dashed on me. It turned out a relative of theirs was coming in, and they were hiding so to speak.

Family Time
My family is going to be here on Mon. I'm fairly excited, I had hoped I would be working the morning shift that week (7-2:30) so I could spend the evening with them but unfortunately I am working the evening shift (2:30-10) so that kind of sucks, but hopefully I will be able to shift some of my shifts around. (say that three times fast). Anyway this week is kind of family week here in Waterton, my friend from Ontario's family is here so that's kind of exciting. I got to meet them because they were kind enough to give me a ride to get some groceries. They were very nice people, and a lot like my friend. It made me even more excited to see my family!!

In other news...
So, my roommates moved out of the apartment, and into the one next door, on Sunday. They felt bad because they liked partying and stuff and felt like they were disturbing me when they had parties at our place. So, I am on my own now. Its not too bad though, my friend helped me out on Mon, and we cleaned my place up the way I like it. I've decided that since I'm on my own, and it looks like I probably won't be getting a roommate any time soon that I am making my place my own. So everything is the way I like it now, and its not so bad.

Yesterday was kind of a stressful and stupid day, minus when I was hanging out with my friends so I 'm hoping that today will be better. If not, my theme song is going to be Float On by Modest Mouse. It's definitely what I need today.

Healing From Chaos

If You Don't Heal Fast, Go Home
After my little incident last week things have been changing pretty fast for me and my life here in Waterton. I think now that's its been awhile I can actually process what happened and how lucky I am. I'm incredibly lucky. This is exactly why my blog is called narrowly averting chaos, and my email as well because seriously, in my life that's all I seem to do. Which is just fine with me. Obviously work was going to be difficult for me, and my doctor told me that it would probably be about a month before I was completely healed, so I was anticipating that some changes would have to occur in my duties as a housekeeper because I won't be able to do that kind of work. The day after my accident I was resting when the Front Desk Manager knocked at my door, she told me that she and the HR manager (who was down from Calgary for the day) had come up with plan for me, and asked me to come and meet with them. I thought I was being sent home, so I nervously got ready. When I arrived at the meeting they had decided to transfer me to Front Desk, so now I work Front Desk. I take bookings, and deal with guest now. Its great, I really like working Front Desk and I was able to get back to work the day after my accident. Obviously somebody is looking out for me, and I'm grateful.

Healing is Really More About Endurance
So now I'm hobbling all across the property and sitting behind a computer all day. I would much rather be outside hiking and stuff but for now thats not possible. It does suck because my buddy just got here and we had big plans for hiking and stuff this summer but those are temporally on hold. He calls my knee the "buzzkill" and I tell him he needs to stop looking at it with such disdain. I'm just glad that I will eventually heal, and I didn't have to go home. Waterton is home for now, and I don't want to leave. It's funny how that works. Anyway my best buddy (JT) (who signed a publicity clause mother) invited me to his parents cabin for Canada Day. So Tuesday night he picked me up and we went out to the cabin which is just past mountain view and Cardston, right on the U.S. border. To say that the cabin, is a cabin is ridiculous. Its really a house. It was originally a rangers cabin that his parents bought and moved to the land they bought. They have spent the last five years fixing up the cabin. Its a house that runs on a combination of solar power and a generator. It sits on a beautiful bluff of land and the side of the house is all window and faces Big Chief mountain. It's gorgeous. Since I've been out there last they've built a beautiful clear pond, begun building a huge shop, and this summer they are working on building a massive zip line. Its crazy. Anyway when we got there JT took me in the jeep up this road he build for their neighbour. It is literally carved out of the side of a mountain and its straight up. It was crazy driving up it, but so worth it when you get to the top because its the best view of Big Chief and there is some awesome crooked trees up there. Whenever my Internet access allows me, I'll upload pictures.

Canada Day
The next day was Canada Day so JT loaded me up for my first ever Raymond parade. If your Mormon then you know that Raymond is a small southern Alberta town settled by the first Mormon settlers. Ever year they do a huge parade (well for a small town). People come from all over to see, the town just explodes. His mom's family the Scovilles have lived in Raymond for 100 years so they have an unofficial designated spot. We watched the parade with his whole family and his little cousins. The Raymond parade is famous for throwing candy so it was really fun to see all these little kids racing after the candy. All of the floats were hand made. It was alot of fun not because it was a huge extravaganza but because it had small town appeal. There was a ton of beautifully restored cars, carriages, horses, and machinery. There was two high schools bands, the Raymond High School, and the Magrath school band. One of the floats was a concrete company that a concrete machine with a slider which they used to shoot salt water taffy at the kids. It was great. It was so fun to see all the floats and the work that went into making them. There was even a Raymond Third Ward float, and a Young Men's float. You defiantly won't see that in the Edmonton parade.

After the parade we went back to Jt's grandmother's house where we had a delicious lunch, but the best part was his grandmothers homemade root beet. He had been telling me about this root beer for awhile so I was pretty excited. I consider myself a root beer consignor so I was all excited to try it. It was amazing. I absolutely loved that stuff! After lunch we took the truck out with all the kids in the back and a garbage can full of water, to go find some kids to soak. It was hilarious driving down main street. Jt's sister was supposed to be watching them, but the kids were a little overenthusiastic so we were constantly yelling out the back, "no babies or old people!" It was a great time, those little kids were so fun. When we returned we went with his family to watch the dirt bike racing in the track just outside of town. It was pretty cool, they had full adults racing and then little kids (6-8) racing just like the adults. It was really impressive and so fun. When we got back to his grandmothers house they arranged some games with the little kids which were a blast to watch, as I couldn't participate due to my gimped stage. Jt was hilarious, especially when they blindfolded him. His mother personally tied his blindfold so he couldn't see, and his partner who was six, ditched him halfway through the obstacle course. After he ran into a pole, it was all downhill from there, he ended up crashing through the chairs were all the adults were sitting.

I'm Not A Thief, I Swear
So, JT's older cousin suggested halfway through the day that we go over to her house and bring the trampoline to the yard for the little kids. Apparently this cousin had lived just across the street so JT and I went to go drag the trampoline over. As we were in the process of dragging the trampoline over, his cousin yells "what the heck are you doing? I don't live there anymore! I meant my mom's house!" We had been dragging a complete strangers trampoline across the street. Luckily they weren't home so we pushed it back and then Jt ran back and I hobbled as fast as I could. It was hilarious.

At The End of The Day
We opted not to stay in Raymond till 11 for the fireworks so we drove back to the cabin and decided to hang out there. I paddled across the pond with his sisters for awhile while JT throw huge rocks in the water to splash us. It was alot of fun. Then we played a little pool and fossball which I totally lost. We concluded our night with a wii tournament which after a large lead I also lost. I just can't win. The next day, I got to witness the Pilling clan in action. I "supervised" JT changing the oil in his suburban and then watched as his family stretched out the cord for the zip line. They attached it to the high hoe, and the back hoe and stretched it out. It's crazy, when that zip line gets done it's almost 800 metres long, if not longer. Its crazy. Then it was time to head home as I had to work at 2:30. By far, these past few days have been my favourite this summer and I'm so glad I have a buddy now to hang out with even if I am gimped!

Genius is For Me
Itunes has genius playlists now, which let you select a song and then picks a bunch of songs that go with it. It's amazing I absolutely love it. Seriously, if you have itunes, enable your genius playlists, its totally worth it. My favourite playlist so far has been based off of a song called Still Alright by Adam Merrin. The playlist features some of my favourites like Somewhere A Clock is Ticking by Snow Patrol, Wedding Dress by Matt Nathanson, Sunday Best by Augustana, and Ripe by Ben Lee, not too mention all the other best songs. I love Genius!!

I'm Narrowly Avoiding Chaos Because Too Many People Love Me, and Pray for Me!!

What, A Crazy Day

My Mom Said To Have An Adventure, So I Did
Well, Well, I don't even really know where to start with this posting. Its been a crazy day. Today was my day off and my friend also had it off until three so we decided to go and rent mopeds and drive up to red rock canyon for a couple of hours. I was so excited. I had been waiting to do this for awhile so I was really pumped. We got the mopeds and started off. Coming out of the town is a large hill and at the top is the historic Prince of Wales hotel which sits on a bluff and has amazing views. We had planned to stop there and take some pictures. The moped doesn't go to fast, the fastest speed is about 40 km/h so we had to gun it to make it up the hill. I was still a little shaky when we got to the turn off and I took it a little faster than I meant to and I crossed into the other lane where there was a car coming. The car just honked at me instead of slowing down so I decided to get as far over as I could and consequently smashed my knee into the guardrail. It hurt so incredibly bad, probably worse than anything I have ever done so far. Somehow I made it across to the other side and my friend helped me get off the bike. The car, that caused me to hit the rail just drove away. So there we are, on the side of the road and I was incredible pain. I could see that it was bleeding a bit so we decided to check it out. I think both of us wished we hadn't. Where my knee used to be, there was a 3 inch deep hole, that was at least 3 inches wide. It was disgusting. We both almost threw up right there. My friend didn't know what to do because 8 or more cars passed and no one stopped to help. He didn't want to leave me but he had no choice so he ran to the visitors centre to get help and then ran back. Then the fun really began, because the ambulance came. I had my first ambulance ride today and it was not enjoyable. I was in so much pain but the EMTs were so good. They kept me awake and alert, and calmed me down. They looked at my knee and just said we are going to a hospital. So I was taken to the Cardston Hospital in the back of a speeding, siren blaring ambulance. I was freaking out the whole way there, I thought I had ruined my entire summer and my chance to make my tuition money. I was just praying that it was nothing serious. The EMT told me that worst case scenario I had broken my femur and would need to have surgery. I freaked out. I did not want to have surgery. It was horrible. The whole way to Cardston they were trying to get an IV started to get some fluids in my system in case I did have to have surgery but they couldn't find a vein on either arm. I personally will always believe that I subconsciously would not allow my veins out, and so I never got an IV!!

Cardston Hospital
So I arrived at the Cardston hospital and I was immediately taken for X-rays which hurt like crazy because they had to transfer me to the x-ray bed and then contort my leg. It hurt like crazy but the x-rays showed no broken bones or fractures of any kind so my many, many prayers were answered. However my ray did show the 6 dollars in changed I had in my pocket. Then it was time to sew me up. I had an excellent doctor, Dr, Taylor who was very kind and nice as he was sewing me up. The lovely waterton EMT ladies stayed with me the whole time and held my hand. It took about half an hour to sew my knee up. I have 19 stitches on the top and probably triple that many in the three layers below my knee. Apparently the EMT told the hospital on the way there that my knew wouldn't sew up nice at all, but it's going to be ok I think. My scar will be a perfect capital C. The doctor and nurse kept telling me that meant I was going to marry someone with a last name beginning with C because of my scar. So my summer short wearing is ruined because I'll have this nasty knee healing.

The End Jist
In the end, I was very lucky. I was definitely protected today, everything seemed to work out even if it was a little crazy. My mom was able to call some family friends to come and give me a blessing and I feel pretty good now. My knee is, of course, throbbing, but I'm home, and I'm alive and fairly well. However I did lose a pair of jeans because they had to cut them up to get to my knee. But I didn't want them anyway, because there was chunks of my knee in them. I had to ask the EMT to cover my pants up so I wouldn't see it. It looked like ground pork. It was so gross. Ugh! I'm thankful that I'm relatively ok, and off work for the next little while. I'm glad that it wasn't to serious. It was only about 19 top stitches and about triple that many in the layers underneath. I think the doctor said that there was three layers of stitching. So, now I'm on couch rest for the next couple of days until I heal up and feel better. In about two weeks I will have to go back into Cardston to get my stitches out and hopefully I will be as good as new, just with a wicked scar. So I hobble and gimp now, my friend calls me Terry Fox, but I'm ok, which is great. I'm lucky because I have some good friends that are taking care of me, they brought me dinner tonight and phoned in my health care information for me. So I guess I had my adventure.

The Worst Day and The Best Day

Sunday is again my favourite day
This will be just a quick post, but I felt liking writing today. I just got back home from church, my first time attending here in Waterton. It was lovely, I mean I don't really think I realized how much I missed going to church each week. I felt like a fool because I had a smile on my face the whole time, and I was sitting all by myself. It was really nice though, an older missionary couple talked. They had just returned from serving in Ghana, (I hope that's spelled right). It was really nice to hear their stories and feel of their enthusiasm. Its funny how a couple in their sixties or maybe even seventies can inspire me, and captivate my attention. That's one of the things I love most about going to church, is hearing peoples stories, and how they learned from their lives and experiences. Every since I was little that has always been one of my favourite things about going to church. Its like the best story hour you'll ever get.

Life's Starting To Get Crazy
So, with the recession things have been a little slower here in waterton, than they normally are this time of year. There just hasn't been too many bookings at the hotel or anything like that. But this weekend it really picked up. Yesterday we had 59 checkouts and 54 stay overs to do, and at the start of the day we had three housekeepers. Our team eventually expanded to ten but that is still way to few housekeepers to get the job done. Somehow we did, but we were all exhausted at the end of the day. I ended up having to work from 9-6, and then head over and work at the chocolate shop at 7-9:30. It was a super long and hard day but I made it through. Hopefully we will soon be able to get more housekeepers so that our weekends are not so nasty. I'm off today, and if they coming knocking out my door for me to work I will not be there, I'm heading to the chocolate shop. It's funny, when I got to work at the chocolate shop yesterday my boss was stressed because it was busy, but it felt so calm to me. After housekeeping like that, any job seems like a piece of cake.

The Waterton Life
The only really sucky thing about living in Waterton is the nightlife. If you don't drink or go to the bar there really isn't a whole lot to do at night because that's all everyone seems to do. It's been driving me crazy and ruining my sleep. For the past three nights we have had stupid, drunk idiots screaming and swearing outside our apartment building every night at like three in the morning. Its so annoying, rude, and most of all pathetic. People ask me all the time why I don't drink, and you know what, even if I didn't believe what I believe I probably still wouldn't because I'm not willing to put myselfinto that kind of state for "fun." I think it is the most pathetic thing in the world. Its a simple as that. Sorry for my rant, I'm just really sick of drunks, and people telling me all the time that "I'm missing out." I'm not missing anything, in fact, they are missing their dignity.

The Rants Done For Today I Promise
I missed telling everyone what I am listening to at the end of the my last post. Well, with the current drunk idiot situation I've been turning my ipod on to some quiet music to drown them out and try (in vain) to get some sleep. Norah Jones is the girl to put you to sleep. I love Norah Jones, I love her voice and her instrumental arrangements. My favourites are Sunrise, Broken, Not My friend, Seven Years, and Those Sweet Words. Her music is just peaceful, calming, and wonderfully sad and melancholy. She is a great musician.

I'm Just really Grateful For Everything and Everyone That Loves Me, Thanks Guys!

A Sunburn, Snow, and A Human Popsicle

Though I'm Seven Hours South of My Readers, I'm actually in the North Pole

You know, I make such a big fuss about avoiding talking about the weather, but I do in almost every post so I should just get over my bias and move on from it. This weather news though is very exciting. June 5, 2009 is an important date here in waterton because its the first time in over forty years that it has snowed on that day. Yes snow, and not just a little, an entire foot of wet, cold, heavy snow. I was not impressed, esepcially considering it was my day off and I had just gotten a severe sunburn tanning for an hour two days before. It was not nice. The snow was absolutely miserable though on sunday night it cleared for about half an hour and I decided to go for a walk. It was really cool because the clouds were so low that they were covering the mountains and everything was crystalized. I got some really cool pictures by the lake of the cloudbank but the internet connection here is to slow to upload them. I had a great time though going for a walk by myself in the snow/rain!

It's Been Awhile
Honestly, I apologize for my lack of updating, I've been too busy. We recentyly had our hours changed from 9-5 and somehow that wears me out way more than 8-4, it just makes the day go longer. Not much has really happended in the past week with work, I just been a basic slave, cleaning rooms like crazy. They are trying to train us to get 10 rooms done everyday so they overload us with work and then push us to get it done. I'm getting much faster, but its still really hard work.

Party Hard, Or Go Home
So, I sort of made a commitment to myself to try new things when I got out here. Like climbing bears hump by myself (though that was not pre-meditated). One of the crazier things that I thought I would try was jumping in the lake. For those of you that don't know, Waterton lake is a glacier lake, so it is always freezing cold even in the summer but especially now. Last night it was probably about 22 degrees and after having dinner at my friends we went for a walk when I proclaimed that I wanted to jump in the lake tonight. Their roomate, is a crazy guy who runs 100 km races, and he jumps in everyday and has since may. He agreed to show me the ropes. So I did it and it was insane. As soon as I hit the water it was so cold it felt like all the air was sucked out of my lungs. All I remember thinking is surface and dock. My friend taped it on my camera and you can see me break and surface like two feet high straight out of the water and swin madly for the dock. I couldn't breathe even after I broke the surface until I was clinging to the dock. It was so fun and intense. The guy that jumped with me said the water was probably about 4 degrees warm. It was so cold. As soon as I got out though I started warming up, probably from adneraline. It was intense and I definately want to do it again. The best part is, that my very supportive friend invited to neighbouring tourists to watch, so two complete strangers saw me jump off the dock and climb back on. Luckily I was too busy, focusing on getting out of the water to care.

In other exciting news
I will be getting another roomate on the 25th and this time I will be sharing a room. I'm pretty excited because my other roomates were friends with her last year and they said she is alot of fun! Then are place will be offically full and we will offically have absolutely no room in the freezer!

I Haven't Written A Witty In So Long
So, as you have probably read my other witty stories (I just like to think they are witty) you know that I enjoy and recongize the need to laugh at myself regularily. This time is no exception. When we are cleaning rooms we do what is called stripping. You go in and strip the sheets off the beds and grabs the dirty towels. Then you tie this all together and make a sling type bag to carry it. It looks like a giant baby slinger bag that you see new moms carrying their kids in now days. Anyway I was cleaning at room at the Crandell which is a small hotel (only 18 rooms) that is more old-fashioned and quaint. Its supposed to be like a b and b. The room I was cleaning was a kitchenette suite with a double bed, two single beds, a double hideway bed, and six sets of towels. So my bundle was the size of three small children. I set it down my the table as I was finishing wiping out the fridge, and microwave. As I got off the chair I was standing on to reach the microwave above the fridge, I stepped right into my bundle. Most normal people would simply step right out but for some reason I turned and next thing I knew I was falling in slow motion to the floor completely tangled up in dirty sheets. When I landed I lay there for a moment, reflecting on my self-defeat and being grateful that I was working alone when I realized I couldn't get up because my legs were completely tangled in the sheets. It took me ten minutes to untangle myself. And they wonder why I'm slow at cleaning rooms.

I converted another ipod touch user.
For those of you that know me, you know just how much I love my ipod. Especially my ipod touch, which is really a mini computer and tens times easier to use than a pda or blackberry. Anyway I was singing the praises of my ipod touch and someone listened to me, my roommate. Yes, she proudly bought an ipod touch and so last night we set hers up and I and my other roommate watched as she played games for the next hour. Seriously, apple should reward me as a faithful consumer and promoter of their products!

Thats it for today!

Don't Shed A Tear, I'll Be Here When It All Gets Weird

Honesty is an Overrated Virtue
So, this update is a little late but in all honesty I haven't really wanted to update the blog quite yet. Everything that I have to write seems so much better tucked away in my head still and I haven't finished sorting through it yet. Normally when I write its because "I'm thinking like a cannon ball shooting out a cannon-Ryan Adams." As I've previously mentioned I've got to sort through things for awhile before I can get them out, but I guess I have some desperate fans.

Home
This past weekend was my aunt Cindy's wedding so I got to go home Saturday and Sunday. I was off work thursday and so my grandma picked me up and I got to spend a couple days in lethbridge before we headed down for the wedding. It was really nice to spend some times with my grandparents, aunts, and cousins. Its weird, but I haven't stayed at my grandparents by myself since I was twelve, and a completely different person. I guess its been awhile. Anyway we travelled to Edmonton on Friday and arrived in Edmonton at about 9: 45. It's a really weird feeling when you get on the Anthony henday after being away for so long, its weird to be travelling home. Anyway we arrived and I was assaulted with love by my puppy and siblings. Gus missed me and I know it because he slept on my bed that night. It was hilarious. Saturday was really busy, it started with breakfast at Haps which was amazing. Just another of the many things I miss about Edmonton, and then we got ready for the wedding. Finally I got to drive my Lumina, I missed it so much, so driving was awesome. The wedding was held at the Petroleum Club of Edmonton so we all made our way over there. It was a lovely ceremony and it was so awesome to see Aunt Cindy and Wally so happy and finally getting hitched. During the ceremony my sister was rubbing her eyes like crazy and I just thought she was crying but after the ceremony she really did start crying because her eyes were "burning from the flowers." And so we went on a quest for reactine, in downtown Edmonton. Fun times. The reception was tons of fun, it was great to be with my cousins and siblings even if a certain someone was a little too tipsy! We had a great time dancing and laughing. As the official "kids" we took it upon ourselves to decorate the honeymoon vessel (the Tahoe). Then the bouquet was thrown and I was outta there. I tried desperately after the ceremony to meet up with some friends but I didn't end up leaving until 10:30 so I never got to see them but that's alright, I'll be back in no time!

The next day I got to go to sacrament for the first time in three weeks and that really made my week. It was awesome and I feel much better this week than I have in awhile. And so, just like that my busy weekend was over and I was heading back to Waterton with my grandparents.

Home isn't where the heart is, its where your junk is, I guess
So, now I'm back in Waterton and I feel alot better. This week has gone way better than the week before I left and now that I'm back I feel stronger and more ready for the rest of the summer. It has been absolutely gorgeous here and today I even tanned on my friends roof! Not that I have any colour, but I absorbed some so a couple more weeks and maybe it will show! Nothing much has really changed here or at home. It feels kind of like I step in and out of two different versions of Maddy, the home version and then the Waterton version. They aren't that different I guess, just the surroundings they are in.

In more fascinating news...
I'm a spoiled brat! Seriously, I should have moved out years ago and started a blog because it seems to be working in my favour. I was handsomely treated to a wonderful surprise of a camera when I went home so next post I will definitely be uploading some pictures from an actual camera as opposed to a cell phone!

HMV is the place for me
I admit it, though I tried to avoid it I somehow managed to visit the world's biggest eyesore, annoyance, and shopping district the West Edmonton Mall. Of course, it would have been irresponsible of me to leave without visiting the HMV store! All I'm going to say is I picked up two amazing albums! Is It Ok By Serena Ryder and The Best Of James Taylor. Serena Ryder is amazing, she has an incredible and unique voice and she is THE voice of a woman scorned. I am not kidding, and James Taylor never did anyone wrong. And yes mom, I left Serena Ryder at home, its on my bookshelf, just don't scratch it please!

Love ya'll and I'll Be Back Before You Know It!

P.S. the explanation for the title of this post, Itunes is on shuffle again and its flogging molly, If I Ever Leave This World Alive, somehow that line seemed more than appropriate for this post!

Chuck Norris Plays A Part

You May Laugh, But When This Summers Done I'm Gonna Take Down Chuck Norris
Ah, Chuck Norris. I saw a poster today at Wal-Mart and it just reminded me of all the great, amazing Chuck Norris jokes. My point is that my "candy store" job is seriously a chuck Norris in training job. I've continued working there on my days off and in the evenings after work. I did actually get some practice in the store ringing in stuff, and scooping ice cream but for the most part I have continued my worm and weed genocide, raking, and last night, hauling cords of wood onto the deck so they can be sold. Its tough work, especially when I'm already tired from working all day at the resort but I'm hoping that the paycheck will be worth it!

Work, Work, Is All I Do
I felt like I had to update this blog because its been a couple of days but I find that I don't really have an exciting news to report all I have been doing is working. Which is exactly what I am supposed to be doing. I guess I can report that I'm feeling pretty proud of myself today. On Monday I finished work at about eight and then went home. My friend came over and we went for a walk at about 8:30 and swung on the swings for a bit. By the time we were done at probably 9:30 I had a major headache and was feeling really nauseous but I figured it was just from the swings. Boy, was I wrong. I caught some nasty little flu bug and I felt completely horrible for the next 24 hours. Anyone who knows me, knows that I don't throw up. I hate it, and I just don't even when I'm sick. So I was in agony because my stomach literally felt like it was bubbling, and on fire. It was horrible, but I survived and preserved enough to made it through work the next day and evening. I went to bed super early each night and today I officially feel 100% better!

2 More Sleeps, and An Analogy
Maybe I'm feeling so good because in two more sleeps I get to go home. I'm so excited to go home and see everyone! I think that coming back from this trip home will be harder than leaving was. Leaving felt exciting because I didn't know exactly what was going to happen but this time around I know exactly what I am coming back to. I know that I have a purpose here, and I feel like I'm doing everything I can to accomplish that purpose but it still feels harder than I thought it would be. Just hang on with me for a minute while I try a little comparison type thing. Yesterday when I hauling wood I was thinking about how my actions were kind of how life plays out. I would lift one cord of wood, carry it up the three porch steps, cross the porch, go down the next three steps and then set it in the wagon. When I had six cords of wood in the wagon I would then pull the wagon around the front of the store and up the ramp to the deck where I would remove each cord of wood and stack it against the wall. I thought the cords of wood were like life lessons that we learn and the three steps were the trials we have to go through (because they always come in threes) then life seems to plateau for awhile before a couple of things beginning sliding or going wrong (next three steps). I thought loading the cords of wood and hauling them to the deck is us learning from our trials and realizing how we used those life lessons. Finally stacking the wood up on the deck is depositing these life lessons in our lives or recording them. Does that make sense? Maybe it was just my brain firing in the heat or from the work but I've been thinking about that all day long.

My Brain is Spinning
I'm feeling very pensive which if you know me is no surprise, I'm always thinking about something. I'm not a coincidence kind of person, because for me things happen for distinct reasons and purposes, so I feel the need to analyze why and how they happen and I guess this blog has become an arena for me to discuss what I'm thinking. I apologize if I'm abusing my blog privileges by filling it with my mumbo jumbo. If you're feeling brave check out Spinning By Jack's Mannequin, its a great hopeful song that perfectly describes where my head is right now.