The Coup

Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire

Well, I lied. I was not able to keep up with the blogging. Honestly I did have the time on Sundays like I said but my brain was so fired from all the writing I had to do for school that the last thing I wanted to do was write about myself. But it's almost the new year and I'm starting early on my resolutions.

Since the last time...

Well, a lot has happened since my last post, and before that I didn't mention. So, I'll just give you a quick highlights reel of my first semester this year.

The Top 10 of this semester:

10. Getting Home from Waterton and paying my full tuition!

9. Getting my credit card (not that I'm wildly spending its just a milestone of adulthood)

8. Dances, and Dances (I've been dancing like crazy this semester with the busyness of ysa but its been a ton of fun.)

7. Discovering Glee/Glee Finale (we discovered it this year as I mentioned in earlier posts and every week we became more and more obsessed, resulting in our glee finale party at my house, which was was really just us but still awesome!)

6. Scoring a 71% on my grammar midterm (still waiting for the final mark), an A- in short fiction forms, B- in editing (which is higher than I thought), and that's all I have so far.

5. Jason Mraz concert (it was amazing and like a tween I was so nervous to see my idol but it was the best concert I've been to yet!)

4. Return of rockband (well it was only one night but we all played some rock band and though I'm sure it wouldn't be as often, it was super fun! Even though I sucked!)

3. Stagette/Bridal Shower: My good friend got married at the end of november, so we had some parties to send her off right. It was a real fun time and so exciting for her!

2. Preference: My friend and I went together and were brave enough to ask some boys out on date! I asked a good friend from school and we had a lot of fun.

1. Wedding: it was one of the coolest things to see two of my really good friends get married. It was wonderful to see them so happy and it was so much fun!

Some of the downer/stupidly dumb moments:

- shutting my finger in the car door. I don't even know how it happened but the next thing I know my hand is caught and I was screaming. My finger grew to the size of a Bratwurst sausage and was weirdly twisted but has since healed. It was definitely one of the more embarrassing of my many injuries so far.

- it was -40 for a week and half. We have gotten so luck this semester with the weather until the end of november/beginning of dec. It got so cold and the worst part was I kept thinking of my friend JT at school in Hawaii. He made it so much harder to accept the cold this year. In other news, I have set a goal to move to a warmer climate.

Coming Soon:

Well this next semester is really shaping up to be really awesome. I have some exciting classes this next semester, which I am really looking forward to. I also have some exciting events coming up this semester. First off I will be turning twenty which is a big milestone birthday and weirdly old for me. Don't shoot me, older readers it just seems very adult. And I definitely do not feel like an adult. In February I will be volunteering for a writing conference. One of my teachers is organizing it and a bunch of Canadian authors, and industry leaders are speaking and manning panels including one of my personal heroes Hart Hanson, creator and producer of Bones! That is pretty much the reason I joined!

Also in February I will be flying to California to visit my Aunt Jenny and Uncle Ken in Fresno. Hopeful we will be able to work everything out and go visit San Fransico! I'm so excited, because even if its cold there it will still be warmer than Edmonton! I cannot wait for reading week!

Then in March my friends from school and I will be heading to the Muse concert! It will be epic to say the least, and I'm more excited than I thought I could be.

Final Note:

I can't guarantee that I will keep up with this because the evidence against me is overwhelming but I'll try and give it a shot. It's fun to share what's going on in my life with everyone who reads this and get psyched up for what's coming next. Till next time then!

The Return

Trying To Be More Than A Flash In A Pan

Well, readers I'm going to try and give this blog thing more of a concentrated effort. Life is really busy but people (namely my mother) seem to miss what I have to say, and truth be told, I miss writing it sometimes. So I will be trying a little harder from now on, my plan is to try and update it on Sundays when I can't work on school stuff.

So as I said life has been pretty busy but in a good way. For some reason I thought that putting almost all of my classes on thursday, and friday was a good thing last year but it is not. It's nice in the days leading up to it, but I find myself dreading those days now. It makes the weekends so much busier but I have all these assignments and I'm usually not home Friday and Saturday night. This past week was crazy like that and pretty much the next month will be insane with the projects I have to do, my fingers are going to be sore from typing!

School, School

As I said school is getting really busy but I'm really enjoying it this year. I have five class this year, short fiction forms, applied editing, advanced composition, professional prose, and screenwriting one. Short fiction forms is probably my favorite class, despite being taught by one of my least favorite teachers. We get to study short stories and then work on writing our own. It's a lot of reading and writing but I think I'm starting to come with some really good stories and I've been really enjoying most of the short stories we get to read. The stories in my last post were from that class, but some of the stuff I'm working on now is a little more different so I'm not sure yet if I'm confident enough to post them here. It's one thing to have a relative stranger read your stuff as opposed to people who know you.

Advanced Composition is my toughest class probably yet. It's an insane grammar class, we are literally mapping out sentences. I'm really trying hard to stay on top in class, and read the chapters so that I have at least heard of the concepts we discuss. Then I found out I was reading the chapters in the wrong order, so after the midterm on thursday I'm totally ahead on my reading! Wish me luck on that test, I'm looking for a pass!

Applied Editing is by far the most work. My teacher is very ocd, and because the class has no final she seems to think we have to be completely over run with homework. In addition to the chapter readings, she gives us weekly assignments that routinely take two hours to do, and there is an essay or project due every three weeks. It's tough, I could probably spend most of my time just working on the homework from that class. I do like some of it though, because in this class we look at more of the theory of editing as opposed to the technical aspects that we looked at last year. Plus the textbook is really awesome if you like writing and want to improve your writing, its called Spunk and Bite by Arthur Plotnik, and it's definitely got spunk!

The biggest disappointment so far has been my screenwriting class. I really was looking forward to it and it has turned out to be really boring. It's really basic screenwriting stuff (easier than the stuff I did in high school film class), and we don't apply to it many movies. Each class begins with a 30-45 min presentation from a group on the assigned reading and then the teacher just lectures on what they talk about. The presentations are defintely the highlight, the lectures are the worst. at MacEwan the teachers let you go 10-5 mins early so that if you need to catch a bus you can make it. This teacher is new to the school and has decided that the because the website says we are in class until five he will keep us till then. It sucks, especially when he just repeats himself for 2 hours.

I've Got A Social Life

Besides school I'm trying to iron out some sort of social life, since I've gotten back there has been dance, after dance, after dance. Don't get me wrong, i don't necessarily mind dances but they are not exactly my cup of tea. You can't really get to know people at them, and even if you meet new people its dark and loud so you're never a hundred percent sure if thats the person you met if you see them at church. It's been fun though because I've got a really good group of friends so we all go together and have a great time.

This weekend was Halloween and we spent it at the dance on Friday, and then on Saturday we went to a family friend's party. I resurrected the gangsta costume, so I was dragging my drawers, and wearing some bling! I love that costume, but this is the last year that I will be ballin! I'm too old for that now I guess, plus I don't think its going to earn me anymore dates, unless they are pity dates.

Well, I think this is a good enough start. I'll try and remember intersecting things that happen in my life to share now that I'm home in E-town. It's weird I've been home two months now, but it still feels like I just got home. The good thing is, Waterton is already under snow so I'm not really missing anything!!

I've Full of Glee!

Well, its finally happened. Show tunes have wrangled their way into my heart, well not really. My friends and I have started watching this new show Glee about a high school Glee club and the music is awesome. I love it, I listen to it all the time, especially when I'm running. My favorite songs are Somebody To Love, and It's My Life/Confessions Mash Up, closely followed by my newest guilty pleasure, the glee version of the Thong Song! Ah, I always knew that song would come back in style!

P.S. My browser is American so it has changed all the spelling to american, so I'm not anti-Canadian, just forced by technology. It's taking over.

Now What?

Home

Well I am happily at home now, after my summer away. I've been informed that I need to continue to update this blog to pacify the people who read it, namely my mother. So, here it is. I have been very busy since I got back. I forgot how busy life is, with school and ysa activities. School is going great so far, I paid off my entire tuition for the year so yeah! And as of yesterday I am officially back at superstore, so drop by and visit because it is still exactly the same. Anyway I don't have much time for detailed description of my life right now, as I'm too busy writing other things. So I thought instead of boring you with my non-fiction, I could maybe entice you with some of my fiction. This is two short stories I had to write for class, and I'm looking for feedback so don't be shy. Spoiler warning, one of them is fairly black humour (as in death and stuff) so if that bugs you just skip over it.

The first piece is inspired by a current events issue that I'm sure will be made clear as soon as you start reading it.

Kanye West – The Housefly

Once upon a time there was a housefly named Kanye. Kanye believed he was a different kind of housefly, born with extra long wings that allowed him to fly higher than all the other flies. Like the other house flies on his block, Kanye flew with ease in his backyard, happily fed and shelter while, other flies struggled in outhouses and farmhouse for a meagre piece of dung, Kanye didn’t have to hunt for his dung he was happily fed everyday by a terrier name Charger. No other flies ate Charger’s dung, due largely to the pesticide dutifully sprayed by Charger’s owner which Kanye just happened to be immune to. So Kanye grew fat, and convinced of his own glory. Everyday he’d fly down to the steaming, fresh, pile of crap dutifully left for him by Charger convinced that no other fly flew as well as him

Now the other housefly’s recognized Kanye’s talent. Some when they first saw his would buzz that there had really been no other fly like him that zoomed and buzzed quite so effortless, so loudly, so poetically. Some said he was one of a kind and every night when the houseflies had their buzz wars, over the Miller’s barbeque they watched Kanye beat housefly after housefly down with his wicked buzz’s and wuzz’s. But not all flies liked him, especially the horseflies. The horseflies were the real deal. Bred in the country, in mile high piles of dung they were forced from the moment of their birth to build the hardest exoskeletons to dodge the horse’s violent tails that waved back and forth in an attempt to eradicate them. The violence that had surrounded them from birth hardened them, and they were notoriously fickle. Alliances were made and broken everyday over the biggest pile of dung. The hardest horseflies didn’t even blink their many eyes when their comrades were crushed beneath the weight of a horse tail. Instead they buzzed louder and more convinced of their superiority they flew right into other flies territory for the best dung. This started the great horse fly wars which lead to the loss of many flies. The horse flies answered to no one and respected no one, especially houseflies.

Kanye knew he was the best, because everyone had told him so. And if everyone tells you then it must be true right? He never questioned himself or his flying ability; he was convinced just like a child who believes Santa is on his way. The horseflies watched Kanye with a righteous anger. Who was this wussy housefly from the suburbs? Why did he fly so well? Their rage grew as they watched him circle and twist buzzing along through the air using the moves they had developed out of survival for his own pleasure. He was disrespecting them! But that was not Kanye’s worst crime, his worst crime in the horseflies mind was his attitude. This fly, thought that he was fly he didn’t need to hunt for dung. His so called fans brought him it! He got the best dung, buffalo dung (the Cristal of the fly world) handed to him on the backs of flies that had risked life and limb just to get it, in the vain hope that he would teach them his signature moves. Their fury could not be contained; the horseflies had to do something.

They sent a suck up suburban fly to fetch Kanye, with a message of congratulations. Of course, like all house flies Kanye secretly carved the approval of the horse flies so he returned with the messenger to greet them in person. The head horse fly, 50 cent (so named for his survival against some little boys and a roll of quarters) buzzed his greeting to Kanye. Kanye, eager to impress, buzzed back with as much vigour and enthusiasm as he could muster, and the two flies began a buzz war. Gyrating back and forth, shaking their wings, they buzzed each other. One would buzz a tune, and the other would try and out do him. The fight grew fierce, until 50 cent buzzed so loudly, and wuzzed so fast, that Kanye had to concede. Humbled (but still secretly proud of himself) Kanye bowed to the horse flies. Out of appreciation for his talent the horse flies led Kanye to their special place, on the back porch of the farmer’s house. There just hanging underneath the awning was a light more beautiful, more heavenly than Kanye had ever seen. He watched it in wonder, as he buzzed around each time getting closer and closer to the light. The horse flies explained that the light was their hood, their special place that they had earned when they had survived attacks from the horses, fly swatters, and children. They buzzed Kanye in, encouraging him closer and closer. Kanye could not resist; all 80 of his eyes were wide in delight. It was so beautiful, so bright, and wondrous, and the closer he got he could see a little bar for him to rest on and bask in the beauty of the light, and his own power. He was the best, the absolute best.

The other houseflies circled with him, and then they saw his eyes widen in delight, and his wings buzz happily, and faster they backed away to the top of awning. There they sat and watched as Kanye circled closer and closer, until they were finally convinced that the light had him in its spell and then they turned away, until the heard Kanye’s final buzz as he hit the light and fell to the porch beneath. They didn’t even look down to check; because they were absolutely convinced he was gone. 50, tired after a long day took one look around at his gang, shook his head, and said “that was easier than T-Pac,” before he curled up and went to sleep.

Like all great flies Kanye’s popularity only increased after his death. Little suburban houseflies copied his moves and mourned his death like the death of their brother. Of course, no one blamed the horse flies because well, no one could prove it. The horseflies’ recognized the inevitability of Kanye’s post humongous fame, cashed in and began giving classes on Kanye’s moves. 50, though arrogant, was really pragmatic enough to realize that you couldn’t beat the life out of Kanye, but you could keep order and proper respect through a steady environment of intimidation and fear. The horse flies ruled the roost, convinced of their cred, and strength. The house flies watched from their porches, hoping in vain that someday they would be as tough and as buzz worthy as the horse flies. And in the space of twenty four hours, that generation died and another sprang up; ready to buzz and wuzz like no other before, because a little suburban housefly Kanye had buzzed and wuzzed just like the horseflies.

And this last piece is my favourite, it might become more, but I think its off to a good start. Let me know!

Reason #101 To Get An Education

Name of current employer. That one little unholy line will be the death of my future career. I can’t fill it out, I just can’t. No employer in his right mind would hire me; they’d probably hire a seasoned drug lord over me. My job is just too weird, too uncomfortable for the general public. I’m doomed; I’m absolutely doomed to spend the rest of my life as a chauffeur for the dead.

Now of course that’s not my official title, officially I am an employee of the Minister of Justice, who specializes in the transportation of delicate materials, which have already been dispatched. How did I even come here? Well, despite popular belief the ME’s office, (medical examiners for the layman) actually advertises openings in their fleet. I was simply looking for trucking work when I spotted an ad for driving in the city, good wage, handling delicate materials, and a number to call. Government advertisements shouldn't be that sketchy. And now, here I am in the middle of a September heat wave, picking up yet another decomposed body. Yeah, that’s exactly what future employers are looking for.

I don’t hate my job, I don’t like it, and occasionally I don’t mind it. It’s actually really easy, the ME’s office is really looking for a license and a pair of hands that can put on some surgery gloves and bag all the pieces. Occasionally my job can even be pretty sweet. I don’t have standard office hours, just a van and a cell phone, and when I get a call I drive out to pick up the body. The office even paid for a sweet suit for me, so that I looked less like an under qualified college drop-out and more like a sober, professional employee of the state. The worst part of my job is the questions. Every time I show up at the scene there is always some rookie cop or should have been retired ten years ago cop, watching the scene, like it’s their job to make sure that nothing goes wrong. They’re always bored out of their mind, and somehow think chatting up the “chauffeur” as they like to call us will pass the time. One rookie cop, Jim seems to be at every call I’ve gotten in the past two weeks. Every time he saunters up to me, thumbs hooked in his belt like he’s Clint Eastwood, shaking his head and chewing on a wad of gum. “I’ve never seen one this bad, yep, this is a doozy.” Every single body is a “doozy” to Jim, even the old guy who died in his sleep and looked like he was going to wake up at any second. He compared that body to the body that was found in the tub after being in there for two weeks. Somehow to me, a body that had basically disintegrated, and a still intact, hardly looks like he is dead guy, don’t really compare, but that’s just me.

The worst part of my job is the gradual loss of any empathy that you feel. I can walk into a suicide scene with blood and guts all over the wall and feel nothing. Somehow that doesn’t seem quite right in my mind, but I guess it goes with the territory. I’m not nearly as bad as some of the guys. Roger, has been with the ME’s office for twenty years, and he loves the job. If there was ever a guy who believed it was his destiny to pick up dead bodies, it’s Roger. He has routinely gets tickets of over a $100, because he cannot be late to the scene. I think it’s his secret dream to someday find a body all on his own. He’s got these buggy eyes, and Dwight Shrute glasses that scan the scene like a warrior surveying the battlefield. He loves the messy cases, (which is just fine with me) and he’ll stay forever just to make sure he’s got every last piece. He’s completely death obsessed, and the few times I tried to chat with him, all he would talk about was the newest burial method he was most interested in. So, obviously, I don’t spend any time with the guys I work with off hours.

It’s not like job is going to be the highlight of my career just a means to an end, until something better comes along. I mean, a mini-van is not exactly a hot-rod to the ladies. Especially if the take a look in the backseat. And the smell is just so unholy. Especially this week with the heat wave, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to cover it up. Believe me, I’ve tried. I once spent an hour in a grocery store checking every single air freshner for maximum strength, and nothing worked. The worst part was when I came out I saw this lady pushing her kid in a stroller glance in my back window and then literally run away when she saw the bag. After that I requested the van with the tinted windows. After all, I’m a single man; I can’t have people thinking I’m some serial killer or something, that wouldn’t do my dating life any good.

So here I am in another employment agency office, scanning every single ad that even mentions driving, because seriously, can there be a job lower on the totem pole than me? Maybe a pizza hut delivery guy, but that’s about it. But the problem is, I just can’t write down the name of my current employer, because than everywhere I go, I’ll be the guy who picked up dead guys. I’m branded for life! Maybe that’s how Roger got stuck at the ME’s office. I’ve got to find another job. I should’ve gone to school.

So let me know what you think people because this kind of stuff is all I'm really working on besides essays and stuff!

Suit Up Thy Man Suit!

Well, well its Finally September 1st!!!

That means I go home in 6 days, I cannot wait. I am so excited to get home to my old life and I'm excited to be out of Waterton. Don't get me wrong I have enjoyed this summer immensely but my time here is done. Especially now that all the freaky, weird, hybrid, mutant bugs seem to be coming out. Seriously, I have never in my life seen bugs like this. They have massive antennas, and then a body like a horse fly with the head of a dragonfly, and they are huge and everywhere. I tried to tan by the beach the other day and gave up because all of the flies!!

The Last Hurrah

So, though this summer has been incredible I felt that I haven't got to spend enough time playing. So we decided to take a couple of days off and head off on a little road trip. We left early, early Wednesday morning and drove through the Crows Nest Pass. I've never driven that way before so it was a wonderful drive. It's so beautiful. One of the coolest things we saw was the Frank Slide. The highway literally carves through a graveyard of massive boulders. It was insane and the weirdest thing was that the whole town that was demolished by that rock slide is still underneath it. It was very cool.

Then we entered B.C. which was very cool for me because I haven't been to B.C. except hiking two km into it. We drove through Sparwood, home of the world's largest truck!, on our way to our destination Fort Steele. Well, Fort Steele is basically like Fort Edmonton park. Its an old town that has been restored as a tourist attraction. We had planned to spend the whole day there but there really wasn't much to do and we left after an hour and a half. We did get some good pictures, even though we weren't supposed to take them! I'll upload a couple when I get home and my internet will allow me.

Our journey continued through B.C. to the border. We passed through some cool places, like Cranbrook, Fernie and my personal favourite Yahk! Yahk is basically three little shops alongside the highway but its really cool. There is a little soap shop where they have built a small ramp up to the roof which has sod planted on it, and their goats, and baby goats head up there and chill. Totally hiliarous. Yahk also had the best ice cream I have had this summer and considering where I am live, thats saying something!

We made it across the border and continued our journey through Idaho. We travelled on the I-95 which is one of the weirdest highways I have ever been on. Its two lanes the whole way and it cuts through residental areas in three towns. We drove across this massive 1 km long bridge over a lake that was huge. Finally we made it to our destination for the night, Bayview, Idaho where we had booked a campground. Our campground was beautiful and Bayview was a cool little town. It was on the edge of that huge lake I mentioned so there was a huge marina that we walked down to. We set up camp and then headed into Couer d'Alene for dinner. While we there we saw G.I. Joe, and you know what, its not even worth a comment. That tells you just how bad it was.

Well, what was the point of this whole trip? Silverwood theme park, in Athol, Idaho which is basically Couer d'Alene. Somehow this was my idea. Anyway Silverwood was intense and a lot of fun. I personally hate rides (then why did I suggest it?) but I still had a lot of fun. We started the day off with the roller coasters which were jittery and unpleasant for me, but still somehow fun. The worst one is called Tremors. Its an old wood coaster that is literally designed to make you feel like you are going to fall off. It goes at least 65 mph, if not more, through tunnels! Its really freaky because no matter how tight you do your seat belt (and trust me, my seat belt was tight!) you still lifted off your seat, especially when you were heading down into the tunnels. It felt like you were going to smack your head every time, so in the roller coaster photo I was leaning forward! Anyway I made it through that one, and for some reason we went on it again at the end of the day and sat at the back. Normally the back is safe, but not on this ride. The back is ten times more rough and our car literally lifted off the tracks. I'm not even joking it was literally off the tracks!!

Anyway I passed one important test, sitting in the very front of a roller coaster which I have never done before. Now it was the easiest coaster we did, but it was also the first one and I survived. I was fairly proud of myself, which kinda shows you just how much of a wimp I am. After the coasters we headed to the log ride (which I normally love) but this one was lame and totally not underrated, so that was disappointing. However their white water raft ride is amazing, I got more wet on that ride then I did on the one at California adventure!!

We played two arcade games and the first one, we won buckets of ammo for this other game/ride. It was so sweet. They had these little boats that you could ride in like a submarine and shot water and balls at your opponents. We traded in our buckets of ammo for the boat ride and had a total blast spraying each other through the cracks in the front. It was awesome, and I got totally soaked. When the balls hit the boats it was so loud because of the covers. My gun stopped working halfway through and by then my competitive side had come out, so I was screaming and hitting my gun trying to get it to work so I could defend myself. Sadly, it never worked.

After the boat ride and when we were good and wet we decided to head over to the Water park. Yes, Silverwood has a waterpark too!! I loved the waterpark, the slides were fun, nowhere near West Edmonton Mall standards but still fun, and it was nice to chill out in the sun. We had a great time!!

Well there was only one ride I wimped out on. Its a roller coaster called Aftershock. Look it up online, it is seriously insane. Everyone else went on it, but I was too afraid. For good reason. The aftershock has two huge poles that go up at least 150 feet into the air. The car rides up the poles, like the drop of doom at West End, and then drops and speeds, essentially upside down the whole way through a series of twists and turns before it goes back up the second pole and drops you again. Finally you go up one more time, and then head home. There is no way I was doing that. Seriously, look it up and you will see what I mean. I already have my sign that roller coasters are not for me, (three times strapped into the Mindbender at West Ed, and never ridden it, thanks to mechanical problems, and many many prayers!!) so despite my companions protests, I'm still not feeling the sting of regret!!

We ended our day and began our drive home. This trip was a lot of fun and a totally awesome way to end the summer. Now I'm just twiddling my thumbs until I head home and get to party with all my friends!! I'm very excited to head home and start school and my old life again. I've really enjoyed my summer here and I think I've accomplished a lot. Now I've got to make it just a couple more days!!

Guilty Pleasure
Ok, road trips are always about turning the music up loud. Now my companions and I have widely different tastes in music but we still managed to have a good time for the twelve hours we spent driving. I've discovered things though that disturb me. My guiltiest taste of music. Oh gosh, I am a sucker for Lady Gaga, why?! I have no idea how this happened but my the third time we listened to lovegame (and the first time I asked for it) I quit fighting it and just sang along to the disco stick song. It hurts my brain and heart but my toes cannot stop tapping. I think I lost a little respect for myself on this trip. Don't worry though, I'll still keep trying to fight it, because I just won't be maddy without my pretentious music.

In which, We Rescued a Pig

Country Living

Before I get started telling you about the latest excitement in my life, I have to say that I am really sick of this program. For some reason the font changes every time, though I always pick the same font. Its very frustrating for someone as pretentious about the font they use, as I am. Ugh!

Anyway so not too much new to report, I'm still working all the time and keeping busy. I can't wait to get home. I'm getting really tired of Waterton in case you have noticed, but I'm having fun distracting myself until its time to go home.

So, as you know JT's cabin has already been a place for many grand adventures for me. I almost broke my neck there last time on a zip line. This time, was a little more interesting. I mentioned in my last post that the Pillings had just gotten a pig that would soon be heading to the slaughterhouse. Sunday we went to the cabin to hang out, and the pig was still alive. They named her Wilbur, and JT loves this pig more than his dog or any other animal. She is a totally cute pig. She is extremely loyal and follows us when we drive out on the quads to chase the buffalo. So she was following us when we went into the pasture to see the horses. The Pillings have very nice, beautiful, and usually gentle horses. Before they saw the pig they came right up to us so we could pet them, but then they saw the pig. Those horses went insane. They started stampeding the pig and trying to bite it. Their lips were curled back and everything. JT took off running after them (and keeping up) punching the horses in the face when they got close to the pig. He started screaming at Zoe and Me to start the quad and head them off. Unfortunately we had to the pull the choke chain to get the quad started so we were unable to get it started. So he ran back, shoved me off and started heading the horses off. The horses would not stop, we were yelling and screaming at them and they would not stop attacking the pig. Finally JT threw his body over the pig and starting screaming at his little sister and Zoe to hit the horses. I wasn't near the horses and I really was not about to start throwing punches at those animals. But Zoe and Camis were braver than me and they punched those horses in the face and kicked them until they left the pig alone.

Pig Rescue

So after the horse stopped stampeding to kill the pig we knew we had to get Wilbur out of there fast. We got the other quad and literally lifted the pig up onto it so JT could hold it and we could get out there as fast we could, because the horses were still eyeing us. We made it up over the hill before the pig fell off the quad and so we tried to lead it down the hill. That didn't work out so well and the pig started running back toward the horses so Zoe threw herself on the pig. Eventually I lifted the pig back onto the quad and we made it safely out of the pasture. That poor pig was so tired, it was foaming at the mouth. But everything worked out and Wilbur lived another day.

Buffalo Chasing
Chasing the buffalo is probably the most fun thing to do at the cabin, whether we are in the jeep, the suburban or on the quads. This time we were chasing them on the quad. I was on a quad with JT's littlest sister Camis driving and his other sister Mariah behind me. We've had a lot of rain here the past two weeks so everything was really muddy and gross. Chunks of mud were flying everywhere and then Camis hit some fresh buffalo dung. I moved my head just in time but Mariah did not and she was sprayed completely in the face. She washed herself off (and missed the whole pig vs. horse match) but when we were sitting down to dinner, Zoe looks at her and discovers that her whole ear is full of buffalo poop. So gross!

Pond Living

We ended the day at the pond after everyone had gone on the zip line (except me, I'm still a little leery). We were again trying to catch/terrorize the ducks and geese. I was standing at the end of the dock and all the kids were behind me because we were all trying to catch the ducks and geese. When like a complete domino effect, JT's dad and Zoe's Dad push us. It all happened in slow motion. We all slowly moved to the water, and I was so shocked. My last thought before I hit the water was, "we're not actually going to go in the water." I hit the water spread eagle and took everyone down with me. When I surfaced my first thought was of the fish, and then I realized my glasses were on my face so I tried frantically grabbing them. Unfortunately I grabbed the back of Zoe's hoodie and she freaked out because she thought I was trying to drown her, so I immediately let go and then actually located my real glasses. We all made it back onto the deck and the adults were laughing hysterically. Apparently I had the most shocked look on my face, which I don't doubt because I honestly believed we weren't actually going in the water.

So that was this weeks adventure at the cabin. At least I didn't get hurt or hurt anyone else, this time.

My Middle Name Should Be Evil Kneivel

I'm Getting Tired of Hearing, You Almost Died



So, my crazy adventures seem to continue. You know I kind of bring it on myself, I told myself when I came out here that I had to be brave and try new things, and somehow that translates into pain. Spoiler warning, this one was nowhere near as bad as my knee, so don't get too excited. Anyway since my last post I've been pretty busy which is good because I am completely ready to head home. I can't believe I'm saying this but I am starting to get sick of Waterton. Anyway I've been pretty busy, I had my last round of visitors come up and spend the weekend with me last week, Cindy and Wally. The best part was that they brought my best buddy Jonathan so we got to chill the whole weekend. They came Friday night and stayed at my place, which turned out to be fuller than expected (more on that later). The next day I had to work until three but we went to Red Rock and hiked up Blackstine Falls and then followed Cindy on some random horse trail that was three inches wide and covered in horse poop for another km. It was fun though. We saw some crazy things, like a bride and groom climbing down red rock in full bridal gear for pictures and my first bear this summer! Good times. The next day we had brunch and then headed to Cameron Lake. I haven't been there before so it was really fun. You take this amazingly windy mountain road up to the lake which is in between mountains. Jonathan and I swam for a bit and then tanned. They had canoe, and paddle boat rentals, so we rented a four person paddle boat, paddled out into the middle of the lake and proceeded to drift for the rest of the hour we had rented it for. It was really nice, relaxing, and I even got a tan. We had dinner that night and then the next morning they were gone!



So I guilt tripped my parents into loving me...hehe

All of my friends down here have received care packages from their families and friends except for me, so I goaded Cindy into guilt tripping my mother to send me a care package. It was awesome, I told everyone at work about it because it was so exciting. I got mints, and gum, and even a water gun! I loved it, the card is on display in my room!



The rest of my week was a blur...

After Cindy, Wally, and Jonathan left I headed to work at the Chocolate shop and then worked there almost every evening after work. It was a pretty long week so by Thursday I wanted to do something fun. I just ended up going with JT to his house for dinner but it was still really fun. One of my friends here parents came from Ontario so they stayed at my place because I had room so my house was a little full because I also got a new roommate! She is from Peru, is Mormon, and has only been in Canada two months. She arrived on the Friday that Cindy and Wally came so the house has been a little crowded but everyone is gone now so everything is back to normal. Its fun to have a roommate again but I kind of wish now that I had taken Spanish because we hit a bit of a language barrier every once in awhile.



Danger, Danger



So, country kids have completely different ideas of how to have fun, mainly because they are limited by the country. One of the housekeepers is really good friends with JT and it was her birthday on Friday so we decided to take her out. We drove into Lethbridge for dinner and then drove back to JT's cabin to get his family's boat for his uncle. Of course by the time we had done all the driving it was pretty much midnight, It was a lot of fun though, that's probably my favourite activity to do with my friends, listen to loud music and drive. I was kidnapped that night and spent the night at JT's uncle's place where he and his cousins live while working here. The next day we slept till noon because of his really loud french African neighbours keeping us up all night and then drove back into town. JT had to work so I chilled at home and then we had made plans to go the rodeo but it was pretty much over by the time we got to Cardston. So we hit up a gas station and then played cards till 12, when I was kidnapped again. The next morning we narrowly made it to church on time.



Here is where the danger comes in. After church we decided to head to JT's parents cabin instead of our original plan to hike Red Rock because it was really windy. We got there and found his sisters playing with the new family pig, which should only be living another couple of days. So we hopped the fence and chased the pig. Pigs feel so weird, they are all scratchy and have this really rough, white fur. It was kinda freaky, but fun. Then the girls wanted to show us how to catch a goose so we headed to the pond where the goose and ducks where and I watched them catch a goose. It was a very intricate process, they used feed to lure the geese under the dock and when they came out they caught them with the nets. JT was very determined to catch one so he laid flat on his belly with his net at the ready. Unfortunately the Pillings have highly aggressive trout in their pond that literally attack the ducks and when they saw JT's face just above the water, one of them bit him on the face. Hilarious. Anyway they finally caught a goose after throwing the dog at one, and we brought it up onto dry land. Geese are so incredibly soft, obviously but its really freaky how they can turn their heads. Really. Anyway we set the goose free and moved onto our next adventure.



I mentioned a couple posts ago that last time I was at the cabin I got to see the Pilling clan trying to set up their zip line, while it is all done now, so I had to try it. After JT's cousin went first I nervously got strapped in and ready to go. Once I started going it was actually really nice except for some of the trees, you bash over. You cross down a hill and then over two ponds, and the stop is at the end of the second pond where you start picking up speed. When I got to the second pond i braced my neck because it can be a little rough when you hit the brake. It's a good thing I did, because the pulley they had for the break rope broke and I tested out the emergency brake. All I remember is being flung up in the air like crazy and seeing the ground beneath me, before I righted. JT thought he had killed me, and came running over. My whole body was shaking and I couldn't breathe, all the air was gone out of my lungs. I had to stand on a crate while JT unhooked me but I was shaking so bad. JT was totally freaked and then I got off the crate and saw that I was bleeding, he thought I had severed an artery. I was so freaked out because I hate blood I dunked my hand into the water because I was already weak enough. I was fine though, just shaken up. I cut my hand a tiny little bit because the clip opened when I swung up like a rag doll. My life was saved by two tires and JTs German engineering. In a couple of minutes I was just fine, but I am definitely feeling the effects of it today, let me tell you. My whole body aches, especially my shoulder and ribs where the harness cut in.



After that we just chilled and talked with his sisters until it was time to leave, or so I thought. Halfway up the hill we decided to go check out the old settlers cabin at the bottom of the hill. Originally we were going to check it out at night, on Friday in the dark but we wimped out because we were all tired. This time we hiked down in broad daylight and found the remains of a fresh deer kill from a bear. Good thing we didn't go at night! We hiked through grass and thistles up to our hips until we got to the cabin. It was really cool. It was all old and it looked like it had burnt in a fire. We found the well that they had dug and built with stones and the old metal stove still intact. There was even a child's toy truck inside the house. It was really cool to stand in a place where no one had been in years. But we all agreed that it was better that we went in the day!



So that's been the excitement going on here in waterton, today I am being lazy after my ordeal yesterday. I'm still a city kid and acting like a country kid takes its toll on me! Minor note, I was only lazy until JT showed up just as I was finishing this post and took me on the Bertha falls hike. It was very fun, and the best part was when we finished I ran into my great grandparents and aunt and uncle who are in town so I got to celebrate my grandfather's 87th birthday with them!



Cruising Music

Like I said my favourite thing to do with my friends is too just drive with the music up loud. So far, all of my favourite memories have been from doing just that. So what makes a good cruising song? According to JT, none of my music and for once I sort of agree with him. The only time you will find me dancing to Rhianna or Lady Gaga, is in a car with my friends. However there is one option that is much better than those two: Pink. I happily admit that Pink is my guilty pleasure and on my ipod. Best song, Funhouse, its got an amazing guitar hook, and its Pink so its awesome. She seriously does not get the credit she deserves.

I've Been Busy. Hence The Wait.

Ahh my few followers, its been awhile

So, the blog has not been updated in a little while. I think that for the few for read this to assume that when its not updated, I'm just too busy. Its been a crazy past couple of weeks. So, when I last left you I had just gone to Cardston and gotten the disappointing news that my stitches had to stay in. Well, on that note the stitches are now out, (have been for two weeks) and my beautiful, completely attractive scar is beginning to form. My knee is healing up pretty good, I almost walk like a sane person (at the beginning of the day before I've moved around too much on it), and I can bend a full 90 degrees (though not for long, and without any pressure on it). So yeah!!

Visitors have come and gone

My family came down the week before last and stayed at the campground for a week. It was a lot of fun, though it rained for the first two days. That's the only sucky thing about being here in Waterton, we are so high up, anytime we get rain, its big rain. Anyway the first night my family abandoned their camp and stayed at my aunts, and the second night I sat and froze my butt off while my mom cooked outside on the camp stove (with only one working burner) instead of in my nice warm apartment. It was fun though. The next couple of days I got to see my family before work and they took me in to get the last of my stitches out in Cardston. Friday and Sat were the fun days because we had our family reunion. Everyone came down to Waterton and stayed over. We hiked Blackstone Falls on Friday night. That was my first hike since my accident. Its only about 2 km, but my knee was killing me when I was done, but it made me stronger! Then we took over a camp kitchen and had an awesome meal and some family time. It was really nice and a lot of fun. Saturday I got to go with my littlest cousins "treasure hunting." There is a little beach and cove on the lake here in Waterton that brings up old pieces of bottles. They are completely smooth from the erosion and rubbing against the rocks so we went up and down the peach picking up their treasure. It was a lot of fun, the girls love it and it was fun to see little kids get so excited about old pieces of bottles! Unfortunately I had to work Sat, afternoon so I didn't get to go to Cameron Lake with everyone. Sunday my family left and I had my first day back at the chocolate shop. I was only there for about two hours but it felt really great to get back there.

Bertha Falls

Hiking in Red Rock got me excited to go hiking and stuff again so mon, my friend and I decided to hike Bertha Falls. It was really nice, Bertha Falls is only about 4 km, and you hike alongside the mountain and gradually gain altitude before you drop again as you get to the falls. The Falls are not as big as Cameron Falls, but its really cool because you stand on this little bridge and you are literally 15ft away from the falls. The water just cuts right out of the mountain. Its really cool. We had a really nice time hiking there and we even made good time considering my gimpness. My knee was pretty sore after but it was a good sore of accomplishing something!! Since then I have just been working and working on my knee. I'm trying to test out how far I can go on it, without wrecking it. I take a walk everyday and I've started swimming lanes so I can get some exercise until I can go running again, but its finally starting to heal up!

Dinner and A Movie

Well, since I'm trying to save my money my culinary experiences have really been limited to myself. So whenever I get the chance to eat out, its great. My friend and I decided that we deserved a night out so we had dinner at the company restaurant where we get a discount. It was great and the best part is I was one of the employees of the week last week so I get a free dinner there whenever I'd like! But I have to say one of my most favourite things was going to a movie on Friday. I went and saw the Proposal which was awesome. I wasn't going to go, because I couldn't get anyone to go with me because they were all working but I finally went by myself in the end, and it was great. I loved it, there was no one talking during the movie, or bugging me, I just got to enjoy it! It kind of scares me how much I liked it.

And that's a wrap

So, that's been my life the past couple of weeks. I'm officially back at the chocolate shop, I worked all weekend so I can start making some extra money.

As always,

So I did manage to catch like the last half hour of So You Think You Can Dance this week for some strange reason. I've watched in the past, but not this year. I have to say I'm not overly impressed with the dancers but I managed to find a great new tune. Its totally not what I listen to at all, but its just so groovy. Its called Move by CSS, and its so fun! I'm such a dork but if I the anti-dancer start tapping my foot to a song, you know its a good dance song!!

P.S. The title is an homage to The Proposal, seriously good movie. My favourite lines: "I can't swim. Hence the boat." "There I was standing there, wifeless (said with such disdain, love Ryan Reynolds)" and my most favourite line "People are too lazy too read, they need someone to tell them, don't watch reality t.v. pick up a book and that person is Oprah."